My Inspiration

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1 (NIV)

Wednesday, March 14, 2012


I am a shopaholic! There, I said it and I'm not taking it back. I have a love/hate relationship with shopping. I love to do it but hate what it does to my checking account!

It doesn't matter if it's grocery shopping, clothes shopping, or shoe shopping if it requires me to spend time walking around aimlessly putting items in my shopping cart, on and off my body and eventually making my way to a register to let go of my hard earned money I am there.

My saving grace is I am a thrifty shopper. I utilize every avenue possible to save money while giving it away. I use coupons both paper and electronic, buy sale items only and don't let it be BOGO because I am all over that.

However, after I have made it home and found room, usually in someone else's closet for my purchases I'm left with that feeling of emptiness again and the need to fill it starts to well up inside of me and before I know it I'm on the hunt for something else and so I turn to the computer. Amazon knows me by name and iTunes is my best friend. Thankfully I've learned to download music from YouTube but still this compulsion needs to stop.

I must admit that I come by this trait honestly. My older sister is a "reforming" shopaholic. I don't know what fueled her passion for spending/buying but it was nothing for us to spend a day together going from store to car to store again and having a blast in the process.

Now that I'm flying solo it is still an itch that has to be scratched at least a couple of times a week. Need milk? I'm there but I never leave with just the items I came for. I always find something else we NEED.

Part of this compulsion I know comes from fear. A deep-seeded fear of not having. There was a time when I couldn't go shopping. Not even for the necessities in life and often went without food or clothing to make ends meet. So I understand that I am satisfying that fear when I buy the things that I need and some of the things I want since I went for so long without them but the other side is much deeper than that. What that driving factor is I'm not sure but I know there is one otherwise it wouldn't keep coming back.

In the meantime, suffice it to say, we won't run out of food, clothing or household goods anytime soon.

Can a sister get some help here!!!

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