My Inspiration

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1 (NIV)

Thursday, December 30, 2010

It's a wrap

2010 is coming to a close and as I review the year I can honestly say it has been a bittersweet year. I lost a few people this year that caused me to stop in my tracks and take a time out to handle the weight of it all. I gained some people that have been a true blessing to my life and I've shed a few toxic people that were constantly dragging me down no matter what I did.

Overall it was a year filled with many life lessons, blessings, and promises of better things to come. I had a sabbatical that allowed me to work through some issues, reconcile myself to certain things that will always be my "thorn" as Paul so eloquently called his trial and purge my past from having control of my present and my future. My counseling is continuing to progress. I am doing well and things at home are going ok. My emotions aren’t running high and low like before. They are now on a even keel fluctuating ever so slightly depending on the events of the day but not out of control. I’ve pretty much stayed at a level place but am still struggling to find time in my busyness to write and release.

This was the first holiday season in several years that I haven’t stressed obsessively over money, the kids, and my family. I just accepted my limitations to do what I wanted for everyone and did what I could. In the end this turned into one of the best holidays we had because of it. It felt good to not have this great expectation hanging over my head but to look at things realistically and acknowledge that certain things weren’t going to happen. We enjoyed each other’s company, celebrating the birth of Christ and focusing in on giving not receiving. The kids were great and have enjoyed their time off from school but they are ready to go back now. I’m excited for the New Year and all the possibilities it holds. No resolutions this year but goals and dreams that are realistic and achievable. I didn’t go overboard and I’m not striving for perfection just forward progress.

I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

And it came anyway

One of my favorite Christmas cartoons is How the Grinch Stole Christmas closely followed by The Little Drummer Boy. It wasn't until I was an adult that I came to realize that these were the only two cartoons of my generation that depicted the meaning of Christmas as something other than gifts and toys from Santa Claus. It quietly made its way into the Grinch through the following passage and quickly became overshadowed by all the hoopla over the stuff being returned but it was enough for me to pick up on. My favorite quote from the movie is:

“And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so? It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. And he puzzled and puzzled 'till his puzzler was sore. Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before. What if Christmas, he thought, doesn't come from a store. What if Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”

Guess what, it does... mean a whole lot more. In Luke 2:9-11 it is explained beautifully.

"And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord."

A Savior for all the people in the world. What a joyous blessing to behold. That is what Christmas is all about; not Frosty, Rudolf or Santa - not toys, electronics or clothes. It's much simpler than that but greater all the while. Life everlasting what joy to behold to know that one day every knee shall bow and every tongue shall confess that the little babe born in a manger on Christmas is the Savior of the world and that is why we have celebrated Christmas.

Yes, Mr. Grinch Christmas means so much more than...things from a store. It came without ribbons. It came without tags. It came without packages, boxes or bags. It started in a manger surrounded by animals in the humblest of circumstances. The greatest gift of all a Savior was born and his name was Jesus Christ.

So while you are out hustling and bustling here, there and everywhere; picking up to put down, checking your list once, twice even three times to make sure you've included everyone and gotten everything thing take time to remember that Christmas will come anyway even if you haven't brought anything.

Merry Christmas everybody. May you remember the reason for the season this year and every year.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

I did it! Nanowrimo Winner

I did it, I did it! Imagine me doing the happy dance... I did it, I did it! I completed 50,000 words of my novel during the month of November. I actually had 58,000 words.

It was a very hard endeavor but I am glad that I stuck with it and got it started. I am no where near finished probably 1/3 of the way there but it is fully outlined and now I just need to fill in the blanks. I truly enjoyed it even on the days that I struggled to find the time and energy to write and especially when writer's block set in and I couldn't put a word on the blank page because my mind was as blank as the page. That was scary the first time it happened. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to write anymore but after two days the words started to come again and all was well.

I learned that sometimes you just have to let it go, walk away and try again another day and that it won't always flow the way you want. Some days I wanted to go left but the story went right and so I learned to go with the flow because that was when I got the best stuff.

I'm going to take a break from the book for a few weeks and then start back at my own pace. Who knows I might finish it next year this time as a Nanowrimo winner again.