I'm living my chaotic life and am pushing forward harder, happier and with a clearer purpose than ever before. So come along and ride the journey with me as I continue to live this life I have been destined to live.
My Inspiration
"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water."Psalm 63:1 (NIV)
Humility - the quality or condition of being humble; A modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.
I can be haughty, brash, bold, sweet, benevolent and worldly. I am a mother who fiercely protects what is hers and a friend that defends the defenseless. I am hell bent on saving the world and self sacrificing in the process to the chagrin of friends and family.
Despite the outer bravado, when it comes to my God and all that He blesses me with on a daily basis I am truly humbled. I shirk away from Him in utter humility unworthy of being in His presence but longing for that connection as a deer who pants after water. It is from the utter depths of my soul that I reach out to Him in prayer and supplication. Giving thanks before asking or even thinking of laying at his feet all that burdens my torn and twisted soul.
I live to serve Him by serving those He places in my path with a glad heart, and a cheerful and kind spirit. Although it may not always go the way I envision it at times, I know that He knows the intentions of my heart and that is all that matters.
And so I come before Him surrendering my all and saying “Here am I Lord, use me.”
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)
Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)
This is the one I esteem: He who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. (Isaiah 66:2)
By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (MSG)
In my devotional today by Melissa Taylor of Proverbs 31 Ministries she talked about Christian friendship and it’s foundation. This prompted me to review my friendships and see if they are founded on Christ and as it turns out I too have 5 fabulous friends that have been there for me in Christian love and friendship.
A friendship grounded in Christ is made up of 5 qualities that make the friendship solid. When a relationship is grounded in Christ, a new level of intimacy is achieved. We know what we say to each other is in Christian love, so we can say just about anything without fear of judgment or abandonment.
1. Love – we love each other unfailingly, the way Christ loves us. A true friend loves you even when you are unlovable.
I have been blessed to have friends who came to me at different stages in my life. One has been there all my life. She’s my sister but over the years she has become my friend. Although we have times when we disagree on things the love of Christ and family brings us back to each other. Another has hung in there with me since high school and although our lives have taken us on two separate paths it has always brought us back full circle as we have reached out to each other for love, support and accountability in our lives and relationships. The last three ladies came to me during the worse period of my life and when I could not do for myself or those in my care they stepped up and did what needed to be done but most of all they just loved on me until I could get myself back to accepting Christ’s love for myself.
2. Encouragement – we intentionally try to build each other up. I want these ladies to know I believe in them.
I love to encourage them and be encouraged by them. It’s like having your own little cheering team as you go through the challenges of life. I know that if I need a little kick in the butt to get me jump started with a little love mixed in that all I need to do is call on them. I love to let them know what they mean to me and how they have encouraged me in my life. They in turn encourage me when I am down and feeling as if I’m not making a difference. Their sphere of influence has been monumental to me as I’ve gone through some very challenging times while we have been friends. The greatest joy has come from knowing that they are just a phone call away night or day and I will have all the encouragement I needed and then some.
3. Forgiveness – forgiveness requires a loving heart and a lot of nerve. The Lord does not keep a record of our sins, and neither should we. Everyone needs forgiveness at some point.
Oh how true these words are because a misspoken word, a forgotten date, task or request can easily cause unforgiveness, bitterness and resentment. So often in friendships the forgiveness factor is a big thing over very little things. It is so very essential to keep it Christ centered. It is hard to have a friendship when another is harboring unforgiveness against the other(s). The ability for us to say “I’m sorry” and be greeted with a hug is huge. The fact that we trust each other enough to say my feelings have been hurt or I didn’t like it when you said or did x, y, or z is a true testament of Christ working on the inside of each of us. So often we are self-absorbed and don’t often pay attention to our words and the affects they have on those around us but in this friendship I feel that we do and our forgiveness is quick and sincere.
4. Accountability – we love each other enough to be real before each other. This is HARD! To give accountability you need to be honest, bold, available, and authentic. To receive it, you need to be humble, open and approachable. Not everyone wants accountability, but we all need it. In our group, we ask for accountability in certain areas of our lives.
We don’t seem to have a problem with this. In fact we look to each other as barometers on our “walking with God scale”. Whether spoken of in the group or individually we have each held the other accountable in loving actions and words. It is very HARD to approach someone and say “Hey you, you’re messing up at _________, and I’m a little worried but that’s when the love of Christ through the Holy Spirit takes over and lets it be received with the love and care it was said in. I want to know if I’m doing wrong in all aspects of my life. I may not like what they say but I receive it and when the time is right adjust things accordingly but what is really cool is that it never has to be confrontational it usually comes out during a conversation and indirectly pricks our heart for thought and prayer later to have the trueness of the words spoken revealed to us. Depression, guilt, dependence on a substance and how we are treating ourselves, our families and our spouses are not off limits. I for one welcome the probing of “what’s going on?” “Something’s not right,” because before I can answer them I have to acknowledge what is taking place within myself or my life and sometimes that is the first glimpse that I’ve gone astray and before I’ve gone to far I can turn things back around.
5.Service – I don’t know what I would do without the service these ladies have provided me with at key times in my life; meals, housecleaning, taking care of kids, a listening ear. Their service is love in action.
This is the area that my friends excel in. Service to me and my family is no light task. I have the most and neediest children out of the bunch. These women have loved them like their own as they have bathed, fed, read and tucked them in. My house has been cleaned and laundry has been folded and put away while I sat helpless to assist. Their ears have been talked off, yelled into and had words flung that no one but a Christ centered friend can handle spoken at them. I can’t thank them enough for their listening ears, their selfless service and their acts of service over and above the call of friendship. They are true examples to me and I hope that one day I can be as great of a friend in service as they have been, are and will be for many more years (I hope!) to come.
“Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends.” John 15:13
I LOVE GOD. I love what He is doing with my life. However, I struggle daily with all that life can throw my way. This struggle can and does take me away from my purpose, allows me to get sidetracked, lost in the shuffle and totally out of reach with Him.
Can you relate? Paul could, he said this about his flesh and the struggles he encountered on his journey in Romans 7:15-25.
“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
I know that we all have challenges and some of us handle them better than others. I truly believe that just as He gave us the Word to lead, guide and direct us that we as believers can come together and support one another through our daily challenges in life. One of the things that help me get back on track is having someone to share it with, to talk it out, to inspire, instill and guide me back to my center after I have taken it to God in the spiritual. He lets me know when I’m to “put it out there and seek the counsel of the godly” and He often puts them in my path.
As sisters in Christ, we can do that for one another. We should do that for one another.
So speak up, let us hear what issues are challenging you and let us all come together to help you work through it. One verse, one discussion, one day at a time…
I have started a forum over at Lefora. Click this link "Keeping it real for God" to come on over and take a look around, join and start a dialogue with the world.
Be blessed my sisters and please take the time to share the stories of your life; the good, the bad, the joy, the pain, the heartache and the beauty He has given you for all your ashes. Who knows, you may be able to help someone else in your sharing.
The responses for sponsorship to the She Speaks! conference in July have been good. I'm truly humbled by those that have offered to assist in raising the money needed to attend this conference. I approached this assignment with much fear and trepidation because it has never been easy for me to ask for help. I have always preferred to be the one giving it. However, I knew that the only way I could make this journey would be to step out on faith, put it out there and let it reach the masses. It was my time to offer other's the opportunity to sow into something so much greater than I, His Kingdom. I know that this is His will for my life and the opportunity is now. I have to be obedient to His call.
The one common thread in every one's response has been. "I don't have much, but I will send what I can."
These words have pricked the deepest recesses of my heart for I know how it feels to want to do something but felt that what little I had to offer couldn't make a difference and so I did nothing at all which led to me feeling even worse because of my lack of action. I must tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.
The God we serve is an awesome God and nothing is impossible for our God according to his word.
"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37(NIV)
Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27(NIV)
Our God parted the Red Sea, saved Daniel in the lions den, healed the lepers and raised Lazarus from the dead. He blessed the widows oil to fill all the vessels and not run out.
If he could do all of that for them then why can't he take what little you have to offer me and not bless it to be what it needs to be? I know that He can and He will.
Karen Ehman of Proverbs 31 broke it down in this devotional in such a way that put it into perspective for me. I have linked her blog to this so you can read the entire devotional but this piece was what stirred things up for me.
'"How many loaves do you have?' he asked. 'Go and see.' When they found out, they said, 'Five—and two fish.'" Mark 6:38 (NIV)
In Mark 6:35-44, Jesus performs the miracle of feeding the 5000 men. The disciples told Him that they didn't have enough to feed the crowd. They were ready to give up. I love the question that He asks them in our verse today: "Well, what do you have? Go and see." When they turned over what they did have to Him, He was able to multiply it beyond what they could have imagined.
So many times I come to Him and say the same: "I just have this little tiny bit...of money, of time, of resources, of energy."
And He says, "Bring what you have to me. That's all I ask. Let me take care of it from here."
So I ask what little you might have to give? You might not be able to give $1000. But you could give $10. You might not be able to pledge hours and hours to serve at church. But you can serve once a month for one hour. You might not feel comfortable speaking to crowds. But you're great at sharing what God's doing in your life one-on-one. You might not be able to lead a prayer ministry. But you can pray for a friend who needs it, even if it seems like you're too late.
Last night I went with a group of women from the church (WOW ministries human services division and the Treasure Wythe Inn) to Manor House to visit the women that live there and be a blessing to them through donations made last week.
The theme last night was “My Sister’s Keeper” and it was such a blessing. Manor House is a transitional home, located in Richmond and run by The New Life for Youth Ministries, for women going through different circumstances in life – drugs and alcohol abuse, emotionally broken down, homeless, etc. They live there for 12 months and during that time they are stripped of everything that is binding them up and rebuilt upon the foundation of God. It’s not an easy thing and there are a lot who start the program but never finish (but a seed is planted). For those that stay God does a mighty work in them.
They range in age from 18 – 40+ and are racially and economically diverse in their backgrounds but what they have in common is the desire to be better than they were. They want to make something of themselves and they want it to be through God. They have that disciple’s spirit of less of me and more of you God.
I was in awe of them last night and my cup runneth over from the opportunity to serve them. I was tremendously blessed just by being there in their midst and then to talk with them, hear their stories and feel the spirit was enough to allow the emotions to come tumbling out. I cried, I hugged and received hugs enough to fill my empty reservoir. The light in their eyes matched the smiles on their faces and even when they talked about how hard the program is, how much they miss their children, husbands, friends and family you could still see that desire in them to continue on.
To be able to fellowship with them, to encourage them to hang in there and share with them that although we might look like we have it all together we don’t, was very humbling. Outside appearances can be very deceiving and we let them know that. We have all gone through some stuff, we are all going through some stuff and we will continue to be challenged in our lives if we live for Christ but we are not alone. That was the message last night.
We all have the opportunity to be our sister’s keeper. To make a difference in the lives of the women we come in contact with in our lives whether it be at that home, our own homes, on the job, or even in the store there is always an opportunity to be our sister’s keeper.
No matter where you go in the world you are not alone. There are sisters everywhere you go. You just need to be open to the Spirit and ask God for the opportunity to be of service and He will reveal it to you. It might be just for that bus ride to the mall or that moment during a sporting event for your child that you connect with someone but that’s one more moment when you can share, inspire or uplift a broken hearted soul with a look, a hug, a kind word, or something more tangible like a meal, some money or clothes, if so moved.
We have all been charged with being our “brother’s keeper” and that goes for us sisters too. So I am blessed in spite of my mess and right now my mess is less on my mind than finding the next opportunity to be my sister’s keeper or to serve someone, some how in some way that will continue to give God the glory and take “me” out of the equation.
It's been over three weeks and the feelings, the thoughts, and the blessings are still flowing from the weekend conference I had the privilege to serve at. I attended a Joyce Meyer conferenceat the Hampton Coliseum on Thursday, Friday & Saturday and volunteered to serve as an usher. Never in my life have I had such an experience. There were 100 strangers from every walk of life in a room with a heart to serve that weekend. There was such a strong spirit everywhere around that coliseum that you couldn't help but be touched. We worked side by side as if we had been doing it all of our lives. It was a sight to see.
Each session was better than the previous one, as if that could be true. The crowds were bigger, hungrier and thirstier for the Word than I've experienced in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting so many people with so many different stories. It was very humbling. Not once did I have the opportunity to dwell on my life, my worries or concerns. I was totally focused on everything that was going on around me and wanting to be the best I could be and yes, I wanted the Word just as much as those in attendance. I wanted reassurance, direction, guidance. I wanted to rejoice during the praise and worship portion of the service and release all the bottled up emotions. I just wanted something, anything that wasn't the same old routine, day in and day out. I wanted to give back to Him for all He had been giving to me these past three years without anything in return from me.
I went to serve and in turn I was blessed tremendously in ways I never anticipated. I arrived a tired, broken creature being eaten up alive inside with unforgiveness, guilt, anger, bitterness, rage and frustration but when I left I had been set free. The knot that had resided in my chest for the past three years was gone. It's was as if it had literally evaporated into ashes. The bile that would rise up at the mere thought of my ex-husband wasn't there. I felt like a new person inside and out. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, the bricks on my feet were gone, the ball and chain that I dragged everywhere I went had been released and the craziest part of it all was that I hadn't done anything to make it happen.
The doors open 2 hours before the conference and we are immediately swarmed with people trying to find a seat.
Angela and I were on the same team. I was truly blessed by her spirit. We found that although our lives are very different our struggles were still the same but we both serve the same God and found great comfort in being able to share that and know that He has it all under control.
Angela and a couple more volunteer ushers in our group.
Day one when we were assigned our sections. I was just trying out the seats to see how comfortable they would be. I might have some cushion back there, but it wasn't enough to spare me from the pain of sitting in them for two hours.
