Each session was better than the previous one, as if that could be true. The crowds were bigger, hungrier and thirstier for the Word than I've experienced in a long time. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting so many people with so many different stories. It was very humbling. Not once did I have the opportunity to dwell on my life, my worries or concerns. I was totally focused on everything that was going on around me and wanting to be the best I could be and yes, I wanted the Word just as much as those in attendance. I wanted reassurance, direction, guidance. I wanted to rejoice during the praise and worship portion of the service and release all the bottled up emotions. I just wanted something, anything that wasn't the same old routine, day in and day out. I wanted to give back to Him for all He had been giving to me these past three years without anything in return from me.
I went to serve and in turn I was blessed tremendously in ways I never anticipated. I arrived a tired, broken creature being eaten up alive inside with unforgiveness, guilt, anger, bitterness, rage and frustration but when I left I had been set free. The knot that had resided in my chest for the past three years was gone. It's was as if it had literally evaporated into ashes. The bile that would rise up at the mere thought of my ex-husband wasn't there. I felt like a new person inside and out. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted off my shoulders, the bricks on my feet were gone, the ball and chain that I dragged everywhere I went had been released and the craziest part of it all was that I hadn't done anything to make it happen.
Angela and I were on the same team. I was truly blessed by her spirit. We found that although our lives are very different our struggles were still the same but we both serve the same God and found great comfort in being able to share that and know that He has it all under control.
Day one when we were assigned our sections. I was just trying out the seats to see how comfortable they would be. I might have some cushion back there, but it wasn't enough to spare me from the pain of sitting in them for two hours.