Humility

Humility - the quality or condition of being humble; A modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.


I can be haughty, brash, bold, sweet, benevolent and worldly. I am a mother who fiercely protects what is hers and a friend that defends the defenseless. I am hell bent on saving the world and self sacrificing in the process to the chagrin of friends and family.

Despite the outer bravado, when it comes to my God and all that He blesses me with on a daily basis I am truly humbled. I shirk away from Him in utter humility unworthy of being in His presence but longing for that connection as a deer who pants after water. It is from the utter depths of my soul that I reach out to Him in prayer and supplication. Giving thanks before asking or even thinking of laying at his feet all that burdens my torn and twisted soul.

I live to serve Him by serving those He places in my path with a glad heart, and a cheerful and kind spirit. Although it may not always go the way I envision it at times, I know that He knows the intentions of my heart and that is all that matters.

And so I come before Him surrendering my all and saying “Here am I Lord, use me.”

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

This is the one I esteem: He who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. (Isaiah 66:2)

Bring what you have

The responses for sponsorship to the She Speaks! conference in July have been good. I'm truly humbled by those that have offered to assist in raising the money needed to attend this conference. I approached this assignment with much fear and trepidation because it has never been easy for me to ask for help. I have always preferred to be the one giving it. However, I knew that the only way I could make this journey would be to step out on faith, put it out there and let it reach the masses. It was my time to offer other's the opportunity to sow into something so much greater than I, His Kingdom. I know that this is His will for my life and the opportunity is now. I have to be obedient to His call.

The one common thread in every one's response has been. "I don't have much, but I will send what I can."

These words have pricked the deepest recesses of my heart for I know how it feels to want to do something but felt that what little I had to offer couldn't make a difference and so I did nothing at all which led to me feeling even worse because of my lack of action. I must tell you that nothing could be further from the truth.

The God we serve is an awesome God and nothing is impossible for our God according to his word.

"For nothing is impossible with God." Luke 1:37(NIV)

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27(NIV)

Our God parted the Red Sea, saved Daniel in the lions den, healed the lepers and raised Lazarus from the dead. He blessed the widows oil to fill all the vessels and not run out.

If he could do all of that for them then why can't he take what little you have to offer me and not bless it to be what it needs to be? I know that He can and He will.

Karen Ehman of Proverbs 31 broke it down in this devotional in such a way that put it into perspective for me. I have linked her blog to this so you can read the entire devotional but this piece was what stirred things up for me.

'"How many loaves do you have?' he asked. 'Go and see.' When they found out, they said, 'Five—and two fish.'" Mark 6:38 (NIV)

In Mark 6:35-44, Jesus performs the miracle of feeding the 5000 men. The disciples told Him that they didn't have enough to feed the crowd. They were ready to give up. I love the question that He asks them in our verse today: "Well, what do you have? Go and see." When they turned over what they did have to Him, He was able to multiply it beyond what they could have imagined.

So many times I come to Him and say the same: "I just have this little tiny bit...of money, of time, of resources, of energy."

And He says, "Bring what you have to me. That's all I ask. Let me take care of it from here."

So I ask what little you might have to give? You might not be able to give $1000. But you could give $10. You might not be able to pledge hours and hours to serve at church. But you can serve once a month for one hour. You might not feel comfortable speaking to crowds. But you're great at sharing what God's doing in your life one-on-one. You might not be able to lead a prayer ministry. But you can pray for a friend who needs it, even if it seems like you're too late.

Let God take your little and make it much.

http://www.proverbs31.org/speakingministry/speakerteam/MaryBethWhalen.php

Thank you for your little. I am watching Him make it much!

God bless.

I Am...

the same, yet different.

I look the same, dress the same and if you were to interact with me you won’t know that there is a change yet I know that I am different. I feel like I am in a different place. I don’t quite know how to explain it but things are just different.

I’ve had thoughts running around my head for weeks now but just haven’t had the desire to put them down on paper but the fact that they keep surfacing tells me they need to get out.

My quiet time in the morning came to a halt three weeks ago and I’ve had a hard time restarting it. In some ways I miss it, in others I don’t. I feel like it lost its purpose and therefore I needed to take a break and rethink the whole process. In fact, I believe that is what is different. I’m rethinking everything; from the inside out, from the top to the bottom. I’m not in a settling mood any longer. I’ve been settled for far too long and that has to stop. I feel like I’m lukewarm in my walk with Christ right now and it’s not a fun place to be or even a place that He likes for us to be in.

“So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth.” Revelation 3:16 (NKJV)

I’ve gotten complacent with going to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and serving on my committee but there is no real zeal or passion behind it. Our lessons are truly awesome and inspirational. I take notes, nod my head and get inspired for the moment but when the moment has passed I’m right back to the nothingness. It’s like I’m there but I’m not.

I’m honest, if I’m nothing else, and lately I just haven’t felt like I’m in the right places doing the right things. I have some loose ends that need to be wrapped up but then I feel like I need to step down and move on because where they are going is not the right path for me.

I've been busy focusing on everyone else's vision and dream and allowed mine to get buried in the process. As I've been refocusing, listening, reviewing and allowing my spirit to minister to me I've been able to hear - truly hear what it's been saying to me. What others have been saying to me and what God has been working on inside of me.

It has re-ignited my passion for the spoken and unspoken word. The thoughts that are not my own but from Him who called me and I have to put them out there. Not for myself but in obedience to what is on my heart and my mind. They won't always be popular. They won't always be easy to understand and digest but for those that are seeking they will answer the questions. They will reaffirm and reassure. They will infuse and ignite the sparks that have been dormant for many years waiting for this moment.

My Passion

My passion is Speaking. Imparting wisdom, knowledge and power to those in the audience as the Holy Spirit directs my path. I love speaking to women; encouraging them, letting them know that there is someone out there that gets what they are going through, that cares and is there for them.

I am a survivor of this world we live in. I have survived sexual assault, domestic violence, self-loathing and hatred and the desire to end it all until I found God. Truly found Him, let him in my life and embraced the love that He so freely gives us all.

I yearn, with all my heart, to take all that I have learned and impart it into others. I want to laugh with them; cry with them; and grow with them as they embark on a deeper, closer relationship with Him. I don't want to be silent any more. I want my voice to go out and be heard so that all that God has imparted in me can be used. It was not designed to stay bottled up inside of me but I've been holding back and holding on to it scared to take the next step. Scared to try for fear of failure but the biggest failure of all would be in not stepping out on my faith and the desire He has placed on my heart.

I know that it is time to let it go; to take the passion that God has planted inside of me and go to the next level. Being able to attend She Speaks! will get me one step closer to the dream.

I have applied for their scholarship and pray that if it is God's will that I will win or that I will find someone who will sow the cost of the conference into my life so I can do what He has called me to do.

What is your passion and what are you doing to fulfill it in your life? Everyone has one. We were designed for a purpose. Have you found yours?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)