Pepsi gone wild...

Weight Watchers - Jennifer Hudson, Nutri-System - Marie Osmond, Jenny Craig - Valerie Bertinelli, and now Pepsi - The "Skinny" can. As if they didn’t have enough to keep them aware of their size, weight and popularity with celebrities hawking the latest diet program, our young women are now faced with their beverages defining who they are. Pepsi has decided to come out with a “thin” can to celebrate beauty and confidence. I say bologna. What does a thin can have to do with celebrating beauty and confidence? To me it sends a signal to our young women that they must be “skinny” to be considered beautiful and confident.

Pepsi Thin – According to PepsiCo, the "taller, sassier new Skinny Can" is a "celebration of beautiful, confident women" and will be available come March, alongside the classic can, which won't be going away.

This is not the first blunder Pepsi has had in recent weeks. During the Superbowl they ran a commercial during prime time for Pepsi One with the kids watching of a guy and a girl and the guy kept saying in his mind that he wanted to sleep with this girl. Try explaining to your 5 year old what he’s saying and why? Totally inappropriate.

As parents we must take a stand with companies like this and hold them accountable for their actions. We have the power and if we channel it correctly we have the ability to force them to make a change. Boycotting Pepsi and their products while conveying to them our displeasure is a very resourceful use of our power. I called and complained to Pepsi and they apologized for their actions and noted that they have placed the ad to run at a later time. This seems to make them believe that it solves the problem. True to their word I saw the commercial run at 10:00 pm last night when most children are asleep but the gist of the conversation still does not sit well with me. Sex is still the main focus of this commercial and likening soft drinks to sex is just wrong.

I will not buy their products because of this obvious breach of family values and this Pepsi Thin is just another reason to reinforce the idea of boycotting their products going forward.

Young women today have enough to deal with from TV, magazines, music and school (i.e. grades, popularity, bullying and peer pressure) getting even more from a soft drink company just isn’t acceptable. They struggle with self-esteem, perfectionism and fitting in on a daily basis. Life shouldn't be this hard. We need to counteract all this negativism with positive images of "real women" who are grounded in the fact that they look, act and think different yet they are confident in themselves regardless of what the media says is beautiful.

What are your thoughts?

Monday night chaos

Hurried greetings as I walk in the door. Mom’s home. Footsteps coming from all different directions. Collective greeting. Happy Valentine’s Day hands thrusting homemade cards, cookies and various treats.

We take our neighbor her Valentine’s goodies. It’s a blustery evening as we traipse across the yard; be careful it is dark out. We arrive with peels of laughter as the wind blows us all over. Knocking on the door and calling out we see her just as she reaches for the knob. The fun begins and then it’s time for them to go home and have baths. I visit for awhile enjoying the peace and quiet and catching up on her daily life. All too soon I must return home and get things moving according to schedule.

Eek! Its 8:00 and no one is ready for bed, not one of them. Energy is in the air. The candy high has survived the bath routine and all I want to do is crash. Tired, so very tired and sore! What is this? My work out is paying off but I have a webcast I want/need to listen to. Can I get the peace and quiet I need?

In and out, up and down, water please, this hurts, that feels funny, I forgot to tell you something. Irritating little interruptions that some would find endearing but right now I’m finding annoying. Time for prayer, yeah maybe this will calm things down. Short and sweet, what’s up with that? We’re tired. Ah ha the sugar crash has begun. Tired little girls, all dressed up to enjoy their dreams, Tinkerbell, Disney Princesses and Ariel all tucked in.

Me, still in my work out clothes, past the sweating stage now I’m dry and smelly but I’m watching my webcast and relaxing for a few until the clothes that need to be folded and put away start to call me. A nice hot shower, a welcome relief from a long day and into bed I go. Nodding ever so slightly trying hard to stay awake until my Valentine comes home. Sleep wins out and I’m out like a light. What a day it was and I get to start all over again right now.

Happy Valentine's Day

God is love and love is God, from my perspective, the two are synonymous. God loved us so much that He sent His only begotten son down to Earth and sacrificed him so that we could come back to live with Him again. (John 3:16)

What love, what adoration, what longing to have an intimate relationship with us; and all he asks in return is that we love Him with all our heart, soul, and mind and our neighbor as our self. (Matthew 22:37-39)

Is that so hard to do? For some of us the answer is a resounding yes! Until we do a little self examination and hold ourselves up to the same light we hold everyone else to and realize just how guilty we are of the same things we accuse others of and withhold our love from them because of it.

How many times have we had to ask God to forgive us for the same thing over and over again? How often do we fallen short of the Ten Commandments? Do we have love for our neighbor as we do our selves or do we hold everyone to a double standard while we justify our reasons for our shortcomings?

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day, the day of love, take a moment and reflect on the relationships around you. Do you have that agape love for your fellow man or do you selfishly hold back for fear of rejection, hurt or pain? Do you love unconditionally in your marriage, friendships or relationships with your kids or do you dole out the love according to some gauge you have in your mind as to whether or not they have earned it?

After all, what have you done to earn the love of God? Nothing, every day we fall short and it is through Jesus that we have the opportunity to repent and start again. Mercy and grace anew each day because of the love He has for us.

So while you are in the mode of celebrating Valentine’s Day, purpose it in your heart to be move loving, more forgiving and less judgmental and withholding of what is so freely given to you whether you accept it or not. LOVE.

Let love motivate you today and everyday to be kinder, nicer, more caring and compassionate one to another and save a little chocolate for a rainy day.

Merry Go Round

Why won't the words come? I'm trying to get my thoughts together but nothing is meshing right now. I'm being pulled in so many directions at this moment that I don't know which way is up.

People coming out of the woodwork stirring up memories of days long forgotten. Scabs being ripped off of wounds thought to be healed. Emotions running the gamut. My brain is working overtime trying to juggle it all.

Scared to stop for fear of what space I'll land on so I just keep spinning and I waiting for something to give.

I

I live hard.

I love hard.

I play hard.

I throw caution to the wind.

I wear my heart shamelessly on my sleeve.

I believe that everyone (including myself) is inherently capable of goodness no matter what obstacles they face in life, no matter the trials, the bad examples and the trouble that has found them because that's how God designed us.

I have survived fatal fiery darts from the enemy but I have my share of scars where I have been skewered during my life.

I am in a flux.

I am afraid, determined, resigned, hopeless and hopeful.

I am waiting, wishing, fearful, dejected and confused.

I am NOT in control

I am desiring the best but willing to accept something less if it takes me away from where I am now...

Calling All Women

Although this commentary from an unknown author is geared at women of color. I know for a fact that the biases, the jealousies and the actions imparted in this writing cross the color barrier. Every woman has faced these types of things but it has been publicized more predominately by women of color.

We can get along, we can have fulfilling relationships across all barriers of race, size, shape, nationality, religious belief and lifestyle choices. All of us at some point in our lives has needed, longed and prayed for someone (in the physical) to love, understand, and empathize with our situations; to give us a hug when we are hurting, a smile when we are down and a hand up when we have fallen down and can't get up by ourselves. In other words we have needed a true FRIEND/SISTER.

I hope you will read this and take away something that brings you to a different point in your life. One that says enough is enough and that you start making a difference in the lives of the women you come in contact with on a daily basis. Don't sit back and wait for someone else to start the new cycle. Let it begin with you and you and you...

Women of Color - Author Unknown

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth. I guess I kind of imagined a Women's Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well, after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each others biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each others' faults and nit pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking "they are cute" but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for "talking too darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting too darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like; what has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along? Why is that we fight amongst ourselves, backstab & steal each others men (only to find out we should have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us; but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich handsome husband, etc., this does not mean that you should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a woman whose child's father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because I'm the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to you could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend. The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony. But I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save some one's life.

PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayers and your love.

"Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." Matthew 25:40

Sea shells on the sea shore

For several years I have collected sea shells from the various places I have visited and keep them in an aquarium. No fish, just sea shells. The shells that I collect are a wide variety of sizes, shapes and colors just like you would find on the beach with one big difference. Very few of my shells are whole or perfect. I didn’t realize it at first but over time I’ve noticed that the ones that I gravitate towards the most when I am out there collecting shells are the broken ones. Although they might be chipped or broken into lots of pieces I can still see their beauty and so I scoop them up and add them to my collection.

It took me a while to make the connection between the broken shells and me; but there is a connection. I think of myself as a broken person and so I can relate to the shells and what they represent to me. Just like I love those shells for what they are and can see the beauty in them I think about how God views me. Although I am broken down, have jagged edges and cracks in my foundation in all of my brokenness the beauty of God still shines through.

Although I may be battered, bruised and a little hard to look upon at times there is still some goodness there. I can radiate His goodness and mercy. Someone can look upon me and see the light He shines within me and find beauty just like I find in these broken shells that lay scattered on the beach. Others may not see them like I do just like others don’t see me for who I am but I know that God does and I am trying to embrace that and let my life reflect the mercy and grace He bestows upon me daily.