A novel is born

I'm about to embark on a journey like never before. I am starting to write a novel. I am clueless on what I'm doing or how it's going to turn out but I'm willing to give it a try. November is National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo.org). It's where you sign up and agree to write 50,000 words in the month of November which is approximately 1,667 words a day. I have been challenged by several people to start writing a book since I am currently hosting 2 blogs and a forum.

I also figured since I was doing all this writing any way I might as well make it count for something. Besides CC has said that I write marvelously well and I should have written several books by now but maybe she'll settle for this one first and we'll see what comes next. Wish me well and keep me lifted in prayer that this will all work out for the good.

Perfectionsm, cool give away and some inisght

per·fec·tion·ism - noun: a disposition to regard anything short of perfection as unacceptable especially : the setting of unrealistically demanding goals accompanied by a disposition to regard failure to achieve them as unacceptable and a sign of personal worthlessness.
Merriam-Webster's Medical Dictionary, © 2007 Merriam-Webster, Inc. Cite This Source

Rachel Olsen wrote about perfectionism and how it affects us on her blog and as part of the daily devotionals from Proverbs 31. She's giving away a Kindle 3 ebook reader for those interested in owning this totally awesome gadget in several different ways so pop over to her site and make sure you enter for a chance to win.

In the meantime, I too will be discussing my issues with perfectionism in hopes that what I learn from her this week I will be able to apply to my life which is anything but perfect right now on any front.

I was born with a perfectionist attitude. Perfection is my life's goal. I always felt that if I was perfect then everything in my world would be alright. I would have my mother's love, my parents would stay together, I would find someone that loved me for me and not what I could give them, etc. As I grew older it spilled over into my life with kids. If I was the most perfect mom in the world then I would have the best kids in the world.

At my job hearing good job isn't good enough. I don't take time to let those words seek in because I've already moved forward in my mind on how I could have made it better and what I will do next time. I see flaws everywhere I go and especially every time I look in the mirror.

No one is safe from me and my self-critical thinking in the pursuit of perfectionism and it's a sad, lonely, depressing way to live. Which is why I think I've spent the majority of my life wishing I was dead because I just knew I would never measure up to the idea of perfectionism I was born with. It is a daily struggle, sometimes hourly and even minute by minute depending on how far over the edge I've leaned.

Right now I'm in one of those places where I've leaned over so far that the slightest breeze might send me off the edge. I'm trying to seek help but you know what an ordeal that is in admitting that you can't cope or handle the issues and of course that is so far from perfectionism it's not funny. The issue really boils down to can I let go of my preconceived notions of perfectionism and the world's expectations of me and embrace the truth in the scripture reference or do I just give up and let go of the edge.

Coming out

I've outed myself to a fellow co-worker who shares my love for the written word. She has a couple of blogs herself that I've enjoyed reading. I appreciate her style of writing, her candor and her honesty which is why I was drawn to her at work. She's a bright spot in my day, a breath of fresh air and a wealth of information, which she is quick to share.

Our worlds are complete opposites but that could also explain the attraction. I get to view it from her perspective and vice versa. Although I believe I will get far more entertainment out of her world than she will from mine.

It felt good to talk to her about blogging, writing, our lives outside of work because at the end of the day when we leave our jobs we do have lives. We are not consumed by this 24/7. We don't eat, sleep and breathe work. In our roles as assistant's too often we work for and with people who's entire existence is wrapped up in their jobs. They cannot function without them. It has become who they are. Their jobs/positions are their identity. You know these people, they are the ones who introduce themselves with their titles and all of their conversations revolve around things they are doing for work.

I'm excited to have another connection in my other life that is walking down a similar path as I. Although a bit different. She's writing a novel. A HUGE undertaking; one that frightens me. I'm not ready for that just yet. I appreciate the blogging world too much with it's fluidness. A novel to me is constraining and we all know I am not one to be constrained. I don't think I have it in me to be that focused right now. I'm saving that for retirement.

Welcome to my world Leila.

The Happiness Project

More Than a Minivan Mom and I go back over ten years; long before she was "famous" in the blog world. I love her dearly not just what she writes but how honest she is to herself, her friends and family. She puts it all out there - thoughts, feelings, rants, commentary - some good and some bad, politically correct or not. I envy how she says what she means and means what she says. I certainly don't agree with what she says all the time but I love to read what is on her mind. I respect her opinions and always give pause to consider things from her side before discounting it with my own.

I am her sideline cheerleader and stand amazed at all she has accomplished and is still doing. She is one of the few great teachers who still care about the kids and getting the most out of them. I wish she were here teaching and not Dallas because I know my kids would learn a lot from her. So, suffice it to say that when she announced that she was doing the Happiness Project and I decided to have a wack at it as well. I'm hoping I'll find out more things to appreciate about my life than I already do.

10 things I like about where I live...

10. Location, location, location - I have it made living in Richmond. I am two hours from the mountains, two hours from the ocean and two hours from DC. We are the halfway point between New England and Florida and with that we get to have all four seasons.

9. History - Virginia is packed with history. As is typical of people who live in such places, I don't appreciate the heritage and history as much as I should. I haven't visited all the battlegrounds or historical wonders but it is a bit thrilling living in the Capital of the Confederate.

8. Food - We have some great restaurants in Richmond and the surrounding area. I grew up on the southern cuisine and enjoy it every chance I get although I prefer to cook it myself. A few of my favorite restaurants are Croaker Spot, Poe's Pub, The Tobacco Company, The Jefferson Hotel, and The Halfway House.

7. Schools - We live where we do for the school system. It is one of the best in the state. Although I'm not happy with how most educational systems have gone to a system of standardized testing/teaching our kids do still have options for their education. Virginia is also home to some great schools of higher education. Virginia Tech, JMU, William & Mary, VCU, UVA, VUU, VSU, etc.

6. Quality of life - We are not the metropolis of Dallas, don't have the NY thing going on and thankfully not as congested as Atlanta. Here in Richmond we have a pace that suits us. We enjoy a slow, easy summer and a fall full of tradition - football, tailgating, turning of the leaves, bonfires and apple cider. I live in the suburbs and work in the city. My mom lives on a farm and the kids get to run and have fun although not as often or quite the same way as I did but they get a taste of it.

5. Shopping - Outlets, outlets, outlets and now we have Saks, Nordstrom, etc. If I loved shopping, which I don't, unless I have the money, I'd have plenty to choose from no matter what direction I headed in. Unfortunately for my friends and family shopping for me consists largely of Walmart. My home away from home! Gap, Old Navy and JC Penney have become regulars in my wardrobe as well.

4. Opportunity - We are up and coming. Several major companies have relocated their headquarters here although others have departed but I think that we have a bright future and more opportunity to come.

3. Sports & Recreation - We have hockey (maybe), baseball is back (yahoo!), football - arena & the Redskins (boo), basketball (college), soccer and Nascar racing!!! - love that sound of the engines starting and the feeling of sitting in the stands and being a part of the action. Not to mention horse racing, theme parks (Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens), skiing, horseback riding, parks, etc.

2. Culture - There is much culture in Virginia if you can get past the confederate flag, which I have no ill will towards. We have the people of the eastern shore, the farmers, the mountaineers and the gentile southerners who love every one as long as they mind their manners. We have Monument Avenue with our confederate icons but Arthur Ashe crashed that party a few years ago, Shockoe Bottom, Oregon Hill, Jackson Ward and Charlottesville (home of Thomas Jefferson's Monticello).

1. Family & friends - this is home. I was born in New York but my formative years were spent here. The majority of my family lives here and although I've left, the longing for home drew me back. I couldn't imagine not being close enough to them that I couldn't make it in a couple of hours but far enough away that they aren't crowding my life. There isn't anywhere that one can go in this state where you won't run into an old friend of a friend if you were born and/or raised here.

The ABC's of Me

A - Age: 44 and loving it!!!

B - Book you're reading: Roadside Crosses - Jeffery Deaver

C - Chore you hate: Cleaning bathrooms - I'm a germaphobe

D - Dad's name: Jeffery

E - Essential start your day item: Prayer

F - Favorite way to exercise: walking outside or at the Y

G - Gold or Silver: Both I like them together

H - Height: 5'9"

I - Instruments you play(ed): None

J - Job title: Executive Assistant

K - Kid(s): Jamar, Sydney, Kyra, Antonio, Justice, Mikayla & Victoria

L - Living arrangements: Own a house

M - Mom's name: Shirley.

N - Nicknames: Mom, Mommy, Honey, Baby and probably a few I don't know about

O - Odd habits: I can't skip buttons, snaps, etc. It's a compulsion.

P - Pet: None

Q - Quiet or Loud: Quiet. Unless I'm ranting

R - Right or left handed: Left.

S - Siblings: 3

T - Typical dinner: Mac n Cheese and hot dogs for the kids, spinach salad w/salmon for me

U- University: Virginia Tech - Go Hokies!!!

V - Vegetable you dislike: Artichoke, water chestnuts.

W - Weirdest talent: I'm still alive and kicking despite everything that has happened in my life

X - X-rays you've had: My lungs, chest, feet, wrist, hips, shoulder

Y - Your favorite place to visit: the beach

Z - Zoo favorites: tigers