My Inspiration

"O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water." Psalm 63:1 (NIV)

Tuesday, February 28, 2012


I have been in isolation this past year and it’s been my own doing. I didn’t intentionally isolate myself but I let my circumstances lead to it. Once again I’ve allowed myself to be ruled by what others think rather than my own thoughts and feelings. I got so caught up in being the perfect wife, the dutiful daughter, the role model for my kids, and the faithful friend, that I forgot that I am human and as such will stumble and fall from time to time myself and that’s ok. Somehow the superwoman complex had become my uniform and I have been wearing it proudly. That big S stretched out across my chest, hands on my hips as I floated two feet above ground just high enough to see over everyone’s head except my own.

In so doing, I left myself wide open for the enemy to sneak in and overtake me leading me down to a point where I was so caught up in everyone and everything else I didn’t think of me and my needs. My relationship with the One who knows all and could have steered me clear from the rocks I was about to crash into had all but ceased to exist and so crash did I ever. I forgot whose I was and who I was. Lost was the confidence to move forward and take care of me. All I could do was make it day by day for those around me that needed me and if you didn’t that was fine too.

I was so wrapped up in my own insecurities and shortsightedness that I didn’t think to reach out to see if you were ok because I was not. Pride reared its ugly head and knocked on the door and I let it in with all of its baggage of insecurity, loss, hurt, misunderstanding and denial. They came in, unpacked and settled in for the long haul. I was too down to resist and had no one to step in and say enough of this let’s get you out of here. So we became roommates of a sort and started a really great relationship. With my head down I plowed forward and just maintained everything as best I could. If it didn’t need me I let it go and soon I was down to just me because I let go of everyone else and with life these days we are all busy and so it was easy to fall off of people’s radar because life goes one with or without you.

Besides I was Superwoman and no one thought that there was anything wrong because I wore that S with so much pride. Inside though was another story and still remains that way. I am clawing my way back to myself; to a point where I am putting my needs first and allowing myself to have a say in my own life. I have a desire to plant my feet on the ground and reestablish a relationship with my Savior that is stronger than the one I let go.

I’m reaching out to my friends I pulled away from and saying I missed you, I need you, I want to make time for our relationship because it is important to me and I am praying that He will send new friends to replace the ones that chose not to extend the hand of forgiveness or if their season has passed and they are no longer part of His plan for my life. I want to be surrounded by warriors of faith that have experienced their own battles and have overcome with grace and mercy and are willing to share and impart their stories and wisdom into me so that I too may benefit from the lessons they have learned. I want to form a circle of friends that will lift me up in prayer daily and speak those words that I yet cannot utter and when I get to that place that I can I will do the same for them.

Will you join me?


  1. Kim;
    I am choosing to come alongside you on this journey, my friend. Whatever God has in store for you, I will be there to edify and encourage you along the way. You are not alone. You have another warrior ready and willing to continue fighting for you (yes, continuing as I was up till 4:00 am this morning praying for you!) no matter how you feel or where you are.
    Kimberly, you are worthy of all that God has for you. He is waiting for you to embrace it.
    Love you,

    1. Thank you Mon for your love, support and prayers. I wouldn't dream of making this journey alone so having you along side of me is such a blessing. You are a true warrior for all that is good and righteous and I am all the better for having you in my life.