Energy

Energy is the strength and vitality required for sustained physical or mental activity; a feeling of possessing such strength and vitality.


Over the past few months since my schedule changed from working out in the mornings to getting the kids off to school therefore, I haven’t been working out. During this time, I’ve noticed that my energy level has plummeted and my sleep intake has increased. Don’t get me wrong, once I’m up I have tons of energy for the first few hours of the day but after 1:00 it decreases considerably and stays low the remainder of the day. I’m in the bed earlier than normal on days that don’t require extra studying for school and still feel drained. It’s amazing how that one hour of exercise each morning used to carry me through the day.

This also reminds me of how I get when I get out of the habit of having a quiet time with God each day. My spiritual battery runs low and I find myself not as sharp, in control and patient as I am on the days when I make that time to study the word, have personal prayer and quiet time just me and Him. Doing that 15 to 30 minute exchange each day recharges my spiritual battery just like exercising does it for the physical part of me.

Knowing this and applying this to my life consistently is a battle I am facing right now. I don’t have any excuse because I have the time if I use it wisely but I haven’t been a good steward of my time lately. I’ve given in to the flesh and when sleep beckons I’ve allowed myself to let go and catch a few extra minutes in the morning or allowed myself to be lulled into the abyss in the evenings when I lay in bed reading only to awaken a few hours later having not made it past the first paragraph or from my brain to my lips. The pages of my prayer journal are pretty sparse and the peace of having that quiet time is missing.

In a few weeks school will be out and I’m looking forward to the summer when I’ll get back into that routine of working out in the morning since the kids don’t have to get up for school and I can let them sleep in. But I can’t wait until then to jump start my spiritual battery. I need my quiet time to begin now on a steady and consistent basis.

So I am challenging myself to create the habit again of doing this each morning for 15 minutes before getting up and starting my day beginning tomorrow. I know that He will give me the strength I need to get over the hump of missing 15 extra minutes of sleep and I will be renewed with an abundance of energy in return.



But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint. Isaiah 40:31

Silence

The silence that surrounds me is deafening. I know I should bask in the quietness but it makes me antsy. I keep checking my phone to see if I’ve missed a call or an email to have something to do. It’s His way of getting me to quiet down and listen for the still small voice but I’m not ready so I retreat to my room, turn on the TV and the computer and make myself busy.

What am I running from? Why won’t I let Him in? How long will I run from what l want but am scared to handle – a stronger more intimate relationship with Him?

Giving up and breaking down

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. ¹⁰ That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Six months ago I stopped having my quiet time with God. Prior to that I was up every morning at 5 or 5:30 spending 30 minutes to an hour reading, praying and pondering the things I had read. I kept a prayer journal of sorts and could track the effectiveness of my prayers but one day I allowed the enemy to whisper in my ear “Are you doing this because you want to or because you have to?” and that question was enough to make me stop and question my motives and fore go my quiet time to see if I had an answer.

It didn’t take long for me to continue to lie in the bed when my alarm went off to get an extra 30 minute to an hour of sleep and then when summer hit I would get up and go running through my neighborhood because it was light and I enjoyed the high that came from the exercise. I reasoned that I could take my lunch break and make it my quiet time but I didn’t have a specific time I went to lunch each day and I quickly forgot that idea. Occasionally I would remember the day’s devotional but first I’d have to go back and catch up on the days that had passed since the last time I read. I had left myself drift really far from that faithful servant who gave the first fruits of her day to her Lord and Savior and left home ready to tackle the world for my God and was quickly replaced by a burdened, burnt out, overwhelmed wreck who didn’t have the strength to tackle the day to day issues in my life much less the harder challenges that reared their heads during this time. I was lost and alone in the wilderness but too prideful to come before God, confess my sin, ask for forgiveness and rescue my quiet time with Him and the enemy reveled in this.

“The thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill and to destroy…” John 10:10

Eventually it got so bad I had a break down because the enemy was wreaking havoc in my life and I was too weak to fight him off. I was close to throwing in the towel but God…

I couldn’t do it. I did as I was prompted and reached out for help. I called my doctor and counselor; I emailed my family and friends. I went to my husband and my mother telling them all that I was scared because I was ready to give up. I felt so lost that I couldn’t see a clear path to find my way back.

“Be merciful to me, Lord, for I am faint; O Lord, heal me, for my bones are in agony. My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long? Turn, O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love. No one remembers you when he is dead. Who praises you from the grave? I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes. Away from me, all you who do evil, for the Lord has heard my weeping. The Lord has heard my cry for mercy; the Lord accepts my prayer.” Psalm 6:2-9

These past few weeks have been very difficult and I know I’m not out of the woods yet but I know that during this time when I am at my weakest and most vulnerable state my God will step up and carry me if he has to. He will hold me up until I am strong enough to stand on my own and He will surround me with people who can help lead me to the path He desires me to walk down.

“…, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. 2 Corinthians 12:9

Will I allow the enemy to talk me out of my relationship with God again? Prayerfully not! When I have questions about my faith and obedience I will take them to the Lord and together we will find an answer.

I learned that when I am weak and confused that I can turn to God for his strength. He is not the author of confusion but the giver of hope, life and light in a dark world.

Psalm 51; 1 Corinthian 14:33; Psalm 6:2-9; Psalm 91; Psalm 13;