The kids are out next week for Spring break and I am actually going to take some time off and spend it with them. Doing what? I have no idea, but I'm sure we'll make the most of our time together. This weekend it will be Easter egg hunts and church. No soccer practice or games due to the holiday.
I've been writing my son and praying over him that he is learning from this place he finds himself in right now and I have peace in my heart over it. I'm not lamenting or allowing myself to take on the blame game. I know that I have done all that I could and that the rest is up to him. I'm letting go of the guilt that I have held onto because of life's circumstances when he was younger. In looking back and I'm realizing that I was learning and growing up just as he was and instead of beating myself up I am telling myself that I did pretty good considering the circumstances and letting go of the dead weight. It feels great!
I owe a great deal of this peace and insight to Renee Swope who's book I just finished reading and will re-read many times over called A Confident Heart. It was a great read and it blessed me tremendously. I read it on the Kindle but plan to purchase a hard copy so I can highlight and mark it up. There were so many little nuggets in there and the last chapter gave me so many scriptures to situations in my life that I know where to turn in times of turmoil, grief and pain. It also reaffirmed that I am loved. I am needed, wanted and worthy of all He has for me in this life.
I highly recommend this book to everyone and plan to make it a gift to those that I encounter that are suffering as I have from low self-esteem, self doubt, loneliness and isolation from God.