During our training for the Speaker's Bureau for the Survivor's Caucus we had to do an exercise that totally sent me into a tail spin. We had a 8.5 x 11 sheet of paper filled with words from top to bottom. Words of every kind, meaningless words that didn't have anything to do with anything in particular.
Much like Toastmaster's we had to take a word and come up with a one-minute speech on that word. The caveat was that we had to close our eyes and place our finger on the page, whatever word our finger landed on was the word we were to use.
Now we were on the honor system here. There was no one looking over our shoulder to see what our word was so if we had wanted to choose another word we could have. For all those that know me... well then you know that I kept the word that my finger landed on in spite of the fact that the room spun around and I broke out into a cold sweat. I mean how could I possibly come up with something to talk about for one-minute about this word.
I took a deep breath, dove in and here is what I came up with.
Mind numbing, shocking, humbling, fearful, frustrating, disbelieving, relieving, intense. Angry, enjoyable, shameful, fun, fearful, exhilarating, life altering, freeing, awesome. Fulfilling, longing, passionate, soul shaking, earth shattering, hurtful, fearful, fearful, fearful. Self loathing, suicidal, worthless, longing, completing, exciting, good, bad, indifferent, alive.
What was my word?