Humility

Humility - the quality or condition of being humble; A modest opinion or estimate of one’s own importance, rank, etc.


I can be haughty, brash, bold, sweet, benevolent and worldly. I am a mother who fiercely protects what is hers and a friend that defends the defenseless. I am hell bent on saving the world and self sacrificing in the process to the chagrin of friends and family.

Despite the outer bravado, when it comes to my God and all that He blesses me with on a daily basis I am truly humbled. I shirk away from Him in utter humility unworthy of being in His presence but longing for that connection as a deer who pants after water. It is from the utter depths of my soul that I reach out to Him in prayer and supplication. Giving thanks before asking or even thinking of laying at his feet all that burdens my torn and twisted soul.

I live to serve Him by serving those He places in my path with a glad heart, and a cheerful and kind spirit. Although it may not always go the way I envision it at times, I know that He knows the intentions of my heart and that is all that matters.

And so I come before Him surrendering my all and saying “Here am I Lord, use me.”

Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. (Philippians 2:3)

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. (James 4:10)

This is the one I esteem: He who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word. (Isaiah 66:2)

She Speaks, She Writes, She Obeys

Proverbs 31 Ministries through Cecil Murphey have one last scholarship to give away to the She Speaks conference and we were asked to write two paragraphs about why we want to attend the conference and what it means to us.

This was my entry.

We are all on a journey. We all have a story and that story can be used to help one another if we use it as He intends. My words, written or spoken can reach the lost, the broken-hearted and downtrodden soul. They can be used to find the one who cowers in the dark, who despises her own face, voice and body; it can seek out the one who has been beaten physically, mentally and spiritually and feels that nobody understands… nobody knows the depth of pain that she carries and no one could ever love her because of all she has endured, the choices she’s made or the way that she looks. I know how these women feel for I too have felt that way. My journey has taught me and continues to teach me that there is hope in the midst of the storm. That joy waits on the other side of the darkness and that God will give us beauty for our ashes.

When I said, "Use me Lord to share your message of love, your Words of wisdom, knowledge and guidance; let my story, my triumph through You give you the glory you deserve and help the lost find their way back home”; when I finally surrendered myself and said, “Lord, here am I send me”; I was led to Proverbs 31 Ministries. For three years I have struggled with the prompting to attend the She Speaks conference. The first year I held back due to financial reasons, the second year, I wasn’t sure I wanted to accept the call that I knew was on my life, and this year, I can no longer deny that He has chosen to use my written and my spoken word. The way the spirit rises up in me when I put fingers to keyboard, pen to paper or lips to microphone are overwhelming, scary and exhilarating. I feel alive and so full. It is during those moments that I know that He has brought me through the storms of my life for a purpose such as this.

Stepping out on faith

“She speaks with wisdom and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

What God has for me, is for me and I know what God has laid on my heart. I have run from this call for too long now. I won't, I can't let this pass me by again. I humbly come before you asking you to support me in this cause. If you feel led by the spirit to help build up the kingdom by supporting those who are answering the call God has placed on their life then consider helping me. I have laid out the particulars on how you can support me below and would be happy to answer any other questions you might have regarding my decision to attend this particular conference, if you will leave your questions in the comments. Even if you don't feel led to help financially, your prayers for me as I step out on faith and into the call would be greatly appreciated!

Scholarship Information

She Speaks is a life-changing conference for women seeking to explore the tug on their hearts to reach out to the world for Jesus. Hosted by Proverbs 31 Ministries for the past nine years, She Speaks encourages and equips women as they communicate God's Word through writing, speaking and leadership through the following:

She Writes: (Writers Track) From basic writing guidelines to preparing an article or manuscript for submission, and everything in between. In addition, the opportunity to meet one-on-one with some of the top editors, publishers, and literary agents in the Christian market.
She Speaks: (Speakers Track) Whether speaking in a large arena or leading Bible studies in church, participants will be equipped with the tools needed to effectively share the Word of God, create a bio sheet, market her ministry, and give successful presentations.
She Leads: (Women's Ministry Track) This track is specifically designed for women's ministry directors and facilitators. Included are creative ways to reach her community with the life-transforming hope of Jesus, organize small groups, select a team of volunteers, plan successful events, and network with other directors.

Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but a remarkable responsibility. The Lord has laid it on my heart to attend She Speaks in July/August, 2010. I trust He will provide a way financially for me to go, and I would like to invite you to be a part of this life-changing conference! Will you prayerfully consider partnering with me through a financial contribution towards a scholarship that will allow me to attend?

As you feel led to join me in this exciting call, there are two ways to participate. You can call Proverbs 31 Ministries at 877-731-4663 to contribute or send a check payable to Proverbs 31 Ministries to:

Proverbs 31 Ministries

She Speaks Scholarship/

Kimberly Dunham-Christian

616-G Matthews-Mint Hill Road

Matthews, NC 28105

Please be sure to designate the scholarship in my name in order to credit my scholarship fund. You will be receipted for your tax-deductible donation. For more information: www.shespeaksconference.com.

May the Lord bless you as you pray about giving towards equipping the saints for the Kingdom of God! I appreciate your thoughtfulness so much and could not do this without you being a very important part.

Warmest blessings!

Kimberly

Surviving the Inner Struggle

Inner struggles - how do we survive them? For me, they come on a weekly basis. If I were totally honest, I think I could say that daily I struggle with what I want and what God wants for me. Consciously or subconsciously it doesn't matter, I know that the struggle is there. Some days the struggle is truly within myself and on others it is with the world in which I live and wanting to be a part of it.

Frequently, I find myself caught up in the social ills that permeate every fiber of our being whether from the radio, TV, Internet, Twitter, Facebook or the magazines on the newsstands. No matter where I look, there is always something that makes me want to compare where I am to where the world tells me I should be. It begins innocently enough with seemingly non-threatening questions or headlines that open up a minefield of answers that often leave me wondering how did I go from thinking THIS (all things that are good, righteous, loving, of good report, etc.) all the way over here to stewing about THAT (jealousy, anger, bitterness, frustration) on a regular basis.

Why am I the only one in the world who is not happy, fulfilled and content with my lot in life? Where is my aha moment? When will I feel transformed or transfigured into a mighty warrior for God?

At times, I've felt weaker; less sure of myself and who I am and more dependent on Him but resentful for that dependence. That is until I immerse myself in the Word (the Bible or the scriptures) which takes these thoughts captive and gives me peace that can't be found anywhere else. I feast on them and allow them to soak into the inner core of my being and rise above the struggle.

"And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God." Romans 12:2 (NKJV)

"Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 (NKJV)

But then I find that I am impatient. Society has created a whole new breed of people, of which I find myself a part of. We are the generation of instant gratification. I want it now. I want to do it myself. I don’t want to wait on God to supply all my needs or to reveal His plan for my life in dribs and drabs. I want it all and I want it right now!

This is not a novel concept. The prodigal son felt the same way, but in his case he went to his father and demanded what was rightfully his and it was given to him and we also saw the results of it. In our case, God is not so foolish as to give in to the demands of his spoiled, whining prodigies and thankfully so. Many times I've had to go back and give Him praise and thanks for NOT fulfilling a request because, over time, I saw the foolishness of what I was asking. I realized the consequences without actually having to suffer them and felt truly blessed that the petitions of my heart fell on deaf ears or that He said no or not right now my child.

"Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD!" Psalm 27:14 (NKJV)

"But those who wait on the LORD Shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, They shall run and not be weary, They shall walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31 (NKJV)

I continuously put myself out there; serving on many boards and committees, volunteering at every outreach in any capacity I can so that I am in constant motion. A perpetual state of busyness that won't allow me to have time to sit and listen to the still small voice. I am afraid to hear what He has to say but I'm even more afraid that I will hear and obey what He says to me. I have not learned to die to self completely and let His will be done although it is the deepest desire of my heart.

My physical, fleshly self won't allow it to happen. It would mean letting go of everything I have fought my whole life to keep - my independence or control. I don't have to tell you how much I like to be in control. It is indicative of my Type A personality to be in control of what goes on around me. But, I have taken my eye off the prize. Nevertheless, God is good because the Word redirects my path. It leads and guides me back into the Father's will and blessings beyond measure when I apply it in my life.

...saying, “Father, if it is Your will, take this cup away from Me; nevertheless not My will, but Yours, be done.” Luke 22:45 (NKJV)

“Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Matthew 26:41 (NKJV)

"For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Romans 7:9 (NKJV)

So, while I have my inner struggles, I am not left alone, lost or forsaken in them. I know where to go to get help or find my way when they arise. There is not one situation in my life that I have not been able to find resolution, guidance or direction about through the Word. Whether I have chosen to do what is required is another post in itself but the road map to survival is always available. The choice to use it is my own.

My Passion

My passion is Speaking. Imparting wisdom, knowledge and power to those in the audience as the Holy Spirit directs my path. I love speaking to women; encouraging them, letting them know that there is someone out there that gets what they are going through, that cares and is there for them.

I am a survivor of this world we live in. I have survived sexual assault, domestic violence, self-loathing and hatred and the desire to end it all until I found God. Truly found Him, let him in my life and embraced the love that He so freely gives us all.

I yearn, with all my heart, to take all that I have learned and impart it into others. I want to laugh with them; cry with them; and grow with them as they embark on a deeper, closer relationship with Him. I don't want to be silent any more. I want my voice to go out and be heard so that all that God has imparted in me can be used. It was not designed to stay bottled up inside of me but I've been holding back and holding on to it scared to take the next step. Scared to try for fear of failure but the biggest failure of all would be in not stepping out on my faith and the desire He has placed on my heart.

I know that it is time to let it go; to take the passion that God has planted inside of me and go to the next level. Being able to attend She Speaks! will get me one step closer to the dream.

I have applied for their scholarship and pray that if it is God's will that I will win or that I will find someone who will sow the cost of the conference into my life so I can do what He has called me to do.

What is your passion and what are you doing to fulfill it in your life? Everyone has one. We were designed for a purpose. Have you found yours?

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

She Speaks! Conference

She Speaks is a life-changing conference for women of every generation seeking to explore the tug on her heart to reach out to the world for Jesus. Through She Speaks, Proverbs 31 Ministries encourages and equips women who are called by God to share our mission to bring God’s peace, perspective and purpose to today’s busy woman. Sharing God’s truth with love is not only a holy calling but a remarkable responsibility. We believe by equipping women to become more effective at sharing the Word of God, we multiply our efforts to reach a hurting world with the life-transforming hope of Jesus.

Our entire team invites you to be a part of this life-changing conference and look forward to sharing our lives with you. It is our prayer that during this year’s conference, God will validate old dreams and inspire new ones.

I look forward to meeting you at our conference this year!

LeAnn RiceConference DirectorExecutive Director, Proverbs 31 Ministriesmailto:MinistriesLeAnn@Proverbs31.org

A New Year

2009-2010 ended/began much like 2008-2009, in elegant praise, worship and fellowship. We attended the New Year's Eve service at church and were blessed in a mighty way.

In retrospect the whole year was blessed. Tony moved to Richmond and helped make our house a home. We got married, took family vacations, visited friends and relatives and surrounded ourselves with people that love and support us.

We made new friends, said good-bye to old friends and let go of friends that were toxic in an effort to make our lives more fulfilling and meaningful to us. We set goals and took great pride in seeing them come to completion and then began new ones and God was with us the whole journey.

God made a way when things seemed impossible. All we had to do was have faith and believe. We paid our tithes, gave generously and stood on His Word and every time things worked out. Not necessarily how we wanted them to, but according to His will and purpose and oftentimes better than how we envisioned things.

His hand has stayed our course right down to losing my job. He knew that there was nothing left there for me and did not allow me to linger there any longer than necessary but long enough to learn a few more lessons about the nature of people and myself.

Which brings me to where I am today, the first work day of the new year - unemployed. All dressed up and no place to go. I got up and dressed for my work day refusing to get out of my routine and the enemy to rule my mind. By 9:00 I had two interviews lined up. Praise God!!!

Both were good opportunities but one would leave me bored out of my mind. They will be making decisions pretty quickly so if one of these is the opportunity God has for me it will be revealed soon enough.

In the meantime, I will be volunteering with one of the agencies that assist victims of domestic violence to keep myself busy and motivated in between interviews.

I am excited about what 2010 has in store for me. Mostly because I'm leaving it all up to Him. I don't know where I'll be or what I'll be doing but I do know that it will be what He has destined me for. I've done nothing in this process but surrender myself totally to Him and let Him be my guide. The jobs I've applied for have been presented to me, I haven't had to seek them out and the volunteering opportunity was again orchestrated by him. I know that great things are coming and I'm preparing myself to be open and receptive to them.

Bigger, better and more than my heart and mind can imagine. I smile just thinking about it and although I have no clue what it will be, if it is from God it can only be good.

A new year, a new journey, a new beginning... so many possibilities.


For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, said the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end. Then shall ye call upon me, and ye shall go and pray unto me, and I will hearken unto you. An ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart. Jeremiah 29:11-13

Emotions abounding

Fall is here and it seems as if emotions are falling out of the trees instead of leaves. I've had several friends send me notes expressing their feelings about various issues in their lives over the past few days and while I could empathize with some, others I could not; nevertheless, because they are my friends and I love them I shared in their feelings. I ached because they ached, rejoiced because they rejoiced, and hurt because they were hurt.

I received this poem today and although I remember reading it many years ago today it struck me as if I had never read it before. I have not yet reached the point when I have had a good soul / life cleansing cry. In fact, I have yet to master crying for a period longer than 5 minutes; but there is hope for me yet, this I know. One day I too will have my day to cry for all the things that have hurt me, mine and the world in which I live. I revel in knowing that when that day happens that it will be by divine appointment and I will have nowhere to go but up once I am done.


Yesterday I Cried
by Iyanla Vanzant

I came home, went straight to my room,
sat on the edge of my bed,
kicked off my shoes,
unhooked my bra,
and I had myself a good cry.

I'm telling you,
I cried until my nose was running all over
the silk blouse I got on sale.
I cried until my ears were hot.
I cried until my head was hurting so bad
that I could hardly see the pile of
soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet.

I want you to understand,
I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried,
for all the days that I was too busy,
or too tired,
or too mad to cry.

I cried for all the days, and all the ways,
and all the times I had dishonored,
disrespected, and
disconnected my Self from myself,
only to have it reflected back to me
in the ways others did to me
the same things I had already done to myself.

I cried for all the things I had given,
only to have them stolen;
for all the things I had asked for that
had yet to show up;
for all the things I had accomplished,
only to give them away,
to people in circumstances,
which left me feeling empty,
and battered and plain old used.

I cried because there really does
come a time when the only thing left
for you to do is cry.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because little boys get
left by their daddies;
and little girls get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies don't know what to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

I cried because I had a little boy,
and because I was a little girl,
and because I was a mommy
who didn't know what to do,
and because I wanted my daddy to be there
for me so badly until I ached.

Yesterday, I cried.
I cried because I hurt.
I cried because I was hurt.
I cried because hurt has no place to go
except deeper into the pain that
caused it in the first place,
and when it gets there,
the hurt wakes you up.

I cried because it was too late.
I cried because it was time.
I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know
that my soul knew everything I needed to know.

I cried a soulful cry yesterday,
and it felt so good.
It felt so very, very bad.
In the midst of my crying,
I felt my freedom coming,
Because Yesterday,
I cried with an agenda.

Hater

by Maya Angelou


A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough!

When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters...

That's why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can't handle seeing you blessed...

It's dangerous to be like somebody else... If God wanted you to be like somebody else, He would have given you what He gave them! Right?

You never know what people have gone through to get what they have...

The problem I have with haters is that they see my glory, but they don't know my story...

If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence, you can rest assured that the water bill is higher there too!

We've all got some haters among us!

Some people envy you because you can:

a) Have a relationship with God
b) Light up a room when you walk in
c) Start your own business
d) Tell a man/woman to hit the curb (if he/she isn't about the right thing)
e) Raise your children without both parents being in the home

Haters can't stand to see you happy.

Haters will never want to see you succeed.

Most of our haters are people who are supposed to be on our side.

How do you handle your undercover haters?

You can handle these haters by:

1. Knowing who you are & who your true friends are *(VERY IMPORTANT!!)

2. Having a purpose to your life: Purpose does not mean having a job. You can have a job and still be unfulfilled.

A purpose is having a clear sense of what God has called you to be. Your purpose is not defined by what others think about you.

3. By remembering what you have is by divine prerogative and not human manipulation.

Fulfill your dreams! You only have one life to live...when its your time to leave this earth, you 'want' to be able to say, 'I've lived my life and fulfilled 'my' dreams,... Now I'm ready to go HOME!

When God gives you favor, you can tell your haters, 'Don't look at me...Look at Who is in charge of me...'


Watch out for Haters...BUT most of all don't become a HATER!

The ties that bind

Who or what ties you down? Everyone has something or someone in their life that continually holds them back or ties them down thus keeping them from being all they can be or excelling to heights even beyond their greatest dreams and desires. Some people refer to them as "dream killers", "peace stealer's" or "negative influences". Get the picture? This is not a new phenomenon. This goes back to biblical times.

God instructed in Genesis 2:24 "Therefore a man should leave his father and mother and be joined with his wife, and they shall become one flesh." This was so that they could establish a family of their own without influence. He later instructed Abram in Genesis 12:1-4 to get out of his country, leave his family and go to another land so that he could bless him. Only Abram took Lot with him and in Genesis 13 it tells us that as time went on there became dissension among Lot and Abram's tribes and God had to separate them. Lot took what he thought to be the better land and Abram took the lesser but his land was blessed by God and he prospered greatly but not before leaving behind the contention, the family, and the dream killers.

I am feeling a lot like Abram, I have finally heard the voice of wisdom and am leaving behind the dream killers, the "haters", the nay sayers and the opinionated ones who can tell everyone what they need to be doing while their own lives are all jacked up this way and that. So this is a shout out to them all to say good-bye, farewell and good riddance, in some instances.

If you call my number and I don't answer after repeated attempts then the right answer would be no, I'm probably not that busy, I just don't want to talk to you anymore. If you send me repeated emails and I don't reply, again, I'm probably not that busy but I don't want to talk to you anymore and if you are bold enough to show up to my house uninvited I will probably be bold enough to say to you, "I wish you well, the best that God has for you but you are not what or who I need in my life at this time" or in modern slang "It's been real but you gotta go!"

The sad thing is that these people know who they are. They have been doing this their whole life and nothing has changed. They have always thought they could say or do whatever they want and haven't had too many people put up a stop sign and say enough is enough so they continue to do it. But for me after years of hearing them tell me what, when, how and with whom I should do be doing it, or how to raise my kids when you didn't raise your own, haven't had any of your own and never will because it didn't fit your lifestyle but you are still struggling in your own world don't you think you need to focus on your home, your own stuff, YOURSELF instead of regurgitating your life experiences both good and bad on others and trying to keep us as miserable as you obviously are?

Let me put it to you another way. If you start a conversation, voicemail or email with the words "I don't mean..." then don't start, don't leave a message, don't send the email and don't look me in the face and continue to talk. Those words should be your cue to examine yourself, your motives and ask yourself if what you are saying has any merit. Are you speaking out of love? Genuine concern for me and mine? Or is it jealousy, maliciousness or busybodiness? Is it true? Is it backed by scripture and tried and true worldly experience (and NO you are not worldly)?

If it is about my household and you don't know what I make, what my plans and goals are don't tell me what I should be doing or how I should be doing it. If it is about my kids, if you don't know EVERYTHING there is to know about the situation, the counseling sessions, physical, emotional and psychological details of the people involved and the context in which you are offering your opinion - DON'T.

If it's about my husband, marriage or job. Step very lightly. First examine your own spouse - if you are NOT married LEAVE IT ALONE; your own marriage - if you are divorced - DON'T go there and your own affairs at work - if you don't have a job, are retired or have never held my position - silence is golden. If you feel you can then come to me and pass judgement, advice or make a comment I suggest you pray about it first, find me a scripture reference that puts it in the right light and bring it on. Otherwise keep on keeping on.

And God forbid it be about your son, daughter, sister, brother, best friend's girlfriend, keep it to yourself because I don't want or need that gossip crossing my ear gates and messing up my flow with God.

Now with all that said please know that I will hold myself to the same standards so if I don't talk to you about your life, your kids, your husband, job or pet without your direct request to do so, it's not that I don't care but I probably don't have much to offer you by way of general conversation so it's best to say nothing at all.

Do know that I love you and am keeping you and yours lifted up in prayer but I'm in the process of cleaning my temple, my house, my heart and mind and in order to successfully do this I have to have a clean heart, a sound mind and let all the minutia go.

I will not be held down, beaten down or stripped of what is mine by the careless tongue of another. What God has for me is mine and I will not let the enemy come in and destroy me or mine any longer. I'm taking no prisoners and I'm not giving another inch while losing a mile in the process. So my wish for you is to walk in love and go in peace and I will do the same.