Calling All Women

Although this commentary from an unknown author is geared at women of color. I know for a fact that the biases, the jealousies and the actions imparted in this writing cross the color barrier. Every woman has faced these types of things but it has been publicized more predominately by women of color.

We can get along, we can have fulfilling relationships across all barriers of race, size, shape, nationality, religious belief and lifestyle choices. All of us at some point in our lives has needed, longed and prayed for someone (in the physical) to love, understand, and empathize with our situations; to give us a hug when we are hurting, a smile when we are down and a hand up when we have fallen down and can't get up by ourselves. In other words we have needed a true FRIEND/SISTER.

I hope you will read this and take away something that brings you to a different point in your life. One that says enough is enough and that you start making a difference in the lives of the women you come in contact with on a daily basis. Don't sit back and wait for someone else to start the new cycle. Let it begin with you and you and you...

Women of Color - Author Unknown

When I first heard of the movie "For Colored Girls" I got so excited. I had the idea of getting as many women together that I could think of to go see this movie. I had visions of group discussions and moments shared with one another that would lead to healing and growth. I guess I kind of imagined a Women's Empowerment Conference type of setting.

Well, after I shared my idea with a few women, reality set in and I realized that so many of us wouldn't be willing to participate for various reasons: You don't like me, you don't care for somebody I might invite, you only hang out with certain people, you don't understand the big deal about Tyler Perry making yet another movie about black people and our issues for all the world to see, you don't like crowds, so is too ghetto, such and such is too uppity etc... It has ALWAYS amazed me that we as black women are each others biggest critics. We are the quickest to bring each other down, find each others' faults and nit pick at a sister until she has nothing left, nothing left to give and then we step over her and call her worthless. We take the prettiest women and tear them down for thinking "they are cute" but turn around and dog the average sista because "she know she should take better care of herself than that - can't believe she got a man!" We call strong women female dogs and accuse weaker women of riding somebody else's coat tails. We tell a big sista to put down her burger and turn around and criticize a skinny woman for not picking one up. We ride the loud mouth woman for "talking too darn much" and likewise torment the quiet woman for "Being too quiet and needing to take up for herself" Sad part is we don't discriminate, we talk about everybody!!!

I've watched women dog out everybody from Oprah for catering to white people and Halle Berry for not being able to keep a man to young Willow Smith for acting too darn grown in her recent video. All of these females are successful and there is something about each one of them to be proud of but a lot of us can't seem to see that. I have to wonder since we all share a common thread (whether we want to admit it or not) is there something about ourselves that we don't like; what has happened to us that we cannot seem to get along? Why is that we fight amongst ourselves, backstab & steal each others men (only to find out we should have left him where we found him). We cannot seem to be unified to support and stick up for one another. Everybody seems to be out for themselves while other groups unite against us; but nobody else has to bring us down because we trample on the spirits of each other daily.

Even if you live in a mini mansion, drive a luxury car, have good credit, rich handsome husband, etc., this does not mean that you should look down your nose at the woman with 4 kids, no husband, living in income based housing struggling to keep her lights on. We ALWAYS think the grass is greener on the other side, I had a woman whose child's father is MIA tell me that I should never complain because I receive a decent amount of child support and I laughed and let her know that I would gladly give every dime back if he would come relieve some of this overwhelming pressure of feeling inadequate as a parent. If I could get just one full night of sleep or not always be on the verge of losing my job because I'm the one that has to call off or leave work for one reason or another to accommodate my child - yeah he could DEFINITELY have his money if I could have some peace! Money alone doesn't make you happy (not true happiness), good credit doesn't keep you satisfied, beauty doesn't make you any less insecure, fame doesn't make you less vulnerable or cause you to be a good judge of character and being stuck up and mean doesn't keep you warm at night or prevent you from being lonely.

You don't know how the sista sitting right next to you could have carefully put on her make up this morning to hide the beating from last night. The teacher you handed your child over to this morning could have sent her children off to school from a dark house with empty bellies. The teller you just got rude with at the bank could know that today is her last day on her job and have no idea how she is going to survive past next weekend. The sista at the office that appears so busy could be typing her goodbyes to all the people that she loves because she plans to blow her brains out tonight after she tucks her babies into bed. The woman you pass in the hallway could be on her way to have an abortion because she fears what others might think or how the woman that sent you this e-mail may drink an over abundance of alcohol every night to mask the nightmares of an abusive childhood.

Ladies we HAVE TO DO BETTER!!! I'm not suggesting that we all like each other and be phony. But I am asking that we all try to respect each other. You HAVE NO IDEA what the next woman is going through, you don't know what past or current hurt and pains have shaped her into who she is today. We spend so much time trying to be as strong and hard as we are expected to be that we end up cracking from the inside out piece by piece. If we would spend 1/3 of the time we spend tearing each other down to build someone up, encourage someone, show someone some love, we could truly make a difference and save some one's life.

PLEASE don't be the straw that breaks another woman's back. Believe me when I tell you that there is a woman out there that needs your smile, your hug, your support, your prayers and your love.

"Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me." Matthew 25:40

A Book Review: Scared by Tom Davis

I got sucked in from the first page and could not put it down. It was fast- paced, thrilling, scary, graphic and harsh. Definitely not for the faint of heart. It was eye opening and life changing. Tom takes us to a place only heard about on the news, Swaziland, the home of Adanna, Precious and Abu. Three children who will find their way into your heart and never let you forget the poverty, abuse and pain that they suffer is real but also who will show you through their resilience and faith that there is hope.

Removed by distance, time and ignorance we have been sheltered from the stark reality that these people face day after day from AIDS/HIV through no fault of their own. I was stung and pricked to my core by the raw emotions I felt while reading this book. There was shock, anger, rage and frustration and then along came joy, peace, hope and understanding; followed by a desire to reach out and do something. No longer can you sit back and be distanced if you are a believer of the scriptures, that Jesus is the Christ and that his words are true. You can’t turn your back on your brothers and sisters in crisis. There are great rewards to those that assist those in need and there is an even greater price to pay for passivity as laid out in Matthew 25:34-46 …”Assuredly, I say unto you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to me…”

It is our duty to carry out the great commission that Christ gave to his disciples in John 13:34-35 "A new commandment I give to you, that you love on another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another."

You cannot have love for one another if you don't do what you can for those who cannot. This book is a call to awareness and out of that awareness comes action.

Although it is a work of fiction it is based on true facts and Tom offers you many resourceful ways to take action and become Christ’s disciples to our needy brothers and sisters suffering all over the world.

Why Not Me?

After training last week I stayed behind and talked with Sam, our facilitator, and we had what I would call a life changing conversation. It started out easy going, casual and natural. We talked about her life, her challenges, work, dreams, etc. and then we started discussing my life and that's when it got real personal and uncomfortable for me really fast.

Her questions were thought provoking, soul stirring and made me want to put my hands over my ears and start saying "lalalalala, I can't hear you." Seriously, I wanted to turn away from them. They weren't mean spirited or meant to hurt. They were made to provoke me into thought and then action, of this I am sure. It would put me outside of my comfort zone; cause me to have to view myself, my life, my thoughts, dreams and desires in a different light. It would mean giving up the safety of my "infanthood - crawling" and step into my "adulthood - walking" with Christ on a whole new level. 1 Corinthians 13:10-12

It would require me to break out of the box, shut down the negative thoughts or no thought mentality and start viewing and thinking of things from a different perspective. I know the scriptures, I know the truth but I've never tried to apply it to me because I never thought of myself as worthy. My hopes, dreams and desires are mostly centered on things for others. That is how I get joy - serving, being behind the scenes and watch and pushing others to excel and reach for their dreams, hopes and desires.

So what could she have asked that caused such a stir you say? I'm glad you asked. She asked me:

1. Why Not Me? Meaning why couldn't great, wonderful, supernatural blessings happen in my life. Why would they?

2. What are the desires of your heart??? Desires, what are desires? I had to look it up to make sure I was understanding what she was asking. Desire - seeking something to make you a better Christian. The longing in your heart that you are willing to commit unto God's will to receive or achieve it. Wow!

3. Why shouldn't you have hopes, dreams and desires bigger than you can imagine? Because I'm not worthy; I think small, dream small and live small because that is all I know.

4. Why shouldn't you expect God to bless you abundantly above and beyond anything you can comprehend or be able to receive? Again my own personal belief of worthiness and because it has never happened to the extent that I could attribute it to God abundantly blessing me. There have been times when things have happened and I thanked Him for the blessing but at the same time it was rationalized out as to how I came about receiving it. I've never had something given to me on a great magnitude that was one of those things that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt was a supernatural blessing.

5. Why do you allow yourself to think small and remain limited in your blessings? I've never been taught how to think big. My mind has never been exposed to open, limitless thinking. I am driven by order and organization.

6. Where do you see yourself 5 or 10 years from now? Honestly, I don't know. My by the book answer would be "Wherever He wants me to be." But I don't have any specifics to put to that question.

Then she challenged me to have a heart to heart conversation with God and ask Him the following questions:

1. God, who am I in you?

2. Who are you developing me into?

3. God, show me who I am, reveal to me that person - introduce me to myself!

4. Lord, how do you want me to move forward?

5. Where do you want me to go?

6. What do you want me to do?

As I have been working through this conversation the following scriptures have been given to me. There seems to be the recurring theme of faith and belief.

I have faith and I believe but I don't think I have used the two in tandem. I can believe for others but have rarely believed for myself and my faith too has also been predicated on things for others (my children, extended family, friends, etc.). The majority of my prayers have been petitions and intercessions for others with little thought to self. In some ways this saddens me to think that I have put so little of myself out there.

That conversation led me to the knowledge that I have a great deal of work to do to be able to answer those questions in a way that is satisfactory to myself much less my Heavenly Father. But I desire to do so; therefore, I am putting myself out there to work on changing my thought pattern, to opening myself up to believe some things for myself and have faith that they shall come to pass.

Bishop told us that when we speak the Word, we are speaking life into a situation predicated on our faith. That God's words are spirit and life. John 6:63

I believe that and know it to be true yet have not spoken life in to my own world. Life and death are in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21) and it is as though by not speaking I have allowed death, stagnation and nothingness permeate my world.

Amazing what is revealed in a conversation so small and unexpected yet I know that God orchestrated that moment and the revelations that have flowed from that conversation just as He created me in my mother's womb and allowed me to be born at such a time as this. (Psalms 139:13-16)

"Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." Mark 11:24

"Delight yourself also in the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:4-5

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarded of those who diligently seek Him. Hebrews 11:6

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrews 11:1

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;" "And my God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6 & 4:19

"...faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God." Romans 10:17

A prompting from the Spirit.

Last week I had training at church for our Helps Ministry organization and it was one of the most spirit filled moments of my week. I met some truly amazing saints and had a wonderful time in His presence as He ministered to us during our meeting. We shared testimonies, tears, joy and had a praise and worship service to rival anything we experience on Wednesday's or Sunday's except it was much more intimate and personal to each of us.

He met us right where we were and filled each of us with what we were in need of; some of us needed comfort, peace, and love. Other's needed assurance of His presence and a Word that touched us to our very core letting us know that He has it all under control and is working it out; and all of us needed his goodness and mercy to carry us through the rest of that evening.

What really amazed me was that He used me to facilitate these results. My heart leaps with joy to think that I could be an instrument in His hands to carry out such an assignment. I had no idea that the promptings that kept my stomach and heart all aflutter would provoke everyone to open up and receive what He had to pour out into us that evening. I marvel at how he uses the "least of these" (me) to do his work.

I arrived a few minutes late and quickly got absorbed in what was being taught. I gained a great deal of wisdom from our teacher's impartation and felt blessed to be among them. As we were closing, the prompting to speak what was on my heart increased until I was sure everyone could hear the thudding in my chest and see the tears welling up in my eyes. I kept my head down at first and just started talking. Out spewed words I had no idea were there and they just continued until I stopped and the next one started and so on and so forth until each one of us had had our turn to open up and release several times over. It was so awesome to witness and be a partaker of all at the same time.

There is much going on in the world today that causes us to feel overwhelmed, deeply saddened and lost; even if we know Christ, because we are human and tend to go with our feelings and not with the Spirit that dwells within.

The Word says that when we release our cares on Him and take up His yoke, our burdens go from our shoulders onto His and our load is lessened. "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)

I know to some it sounds crazy but for the believers, the witnesses to this miracle, the transfer of our burdens to Christs' is one of the greatest blessings we can experience - letting go and letting God have our cares is freeing. To "cast our cares upon the Lord" allows Him to have his way in our lives and move in ways we can't fathom. "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you." (1 Peter 5:6-7)

Yet time and time again as quickly as we release them we scoop them back up and become heavy laden and burdened all over again. It has been a cycle in my life that is starting to shorten in length. Meaning, I'm not holding on to things as long but releasing them quicker and benefiting from the freedom that comes from not being weighed down under the weight of the problems in my life.

But, there is still much work that needs to be done in me. I am very much a work in progress but I am choosing daily to surrender myself unto Him. Opening myself up to follow His promptings and going where He leads me even if it is out of my comfort zone and into the unknown for I trust Him and believe in His Word. "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." (Jeremiah 29:11)

Do You Believe?

It’s a simple enough question that we could all answer with some aspect of certainty on the surface but I’m talking underneath the surface all the way down to the root.

Do you believe? Yes, I believe. Yes, I have faith albeit as small as a mustard seed at times it is there and it is what has kept me going even during the darkest periods of my life.

Do you have hope? Sometimes, I think I do but other times I’m not so sure so, not consistently.

Do you dare to dream and see it in your minds eye as a reality? No. I’m not a dreamer, I don’t give in to the possibilities of what could, should or would be. My imagination shut down a long time ago and the door has rusted shut. I don’t think beyond the end of my nose or outside of my comfort level (what I feel I deserve and can earn/get for myself – not what can be gained through favor or supernatural blessings) and although I have faith and believe in miracles, they happen to other people, not me.

Yet, I would be a fool if I failed to see what has been laid out before me time and time again including tonight and didn’t begin to have a greater measure of faith mixed with the possibility of hope and anticipation shaken together with a level of expectancy for me, my family and our lives.

Out of the mouth of two or three witnesses… Joyce Meyer, the Bishop, the Word of God – I can’t dispute it, there has to be more to it and I need to start tapping into it. My life should have consistency and expectancy – if the slightest thing changes give God the praise. I need to let joy come over me and thank God for the joy instead of trying to outrun it.

My earlier post was published before I went to bible study tonight and was the response to a note from a friend. This post comes after bible study and is prompted by the message tonight entitled “Faith is a Process”.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

“So then, faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God.” Romans 10:17

Focus on what you want so that you can be blessed. So I have to ask myself: “What am I believing God for?” Is it something that will allow Him to get the glory? Once I figure it out I should then know in my spirit that I have the faith to receive it. I need to get excited about what is being created in the spiritual realm: I should keep it before me (picture it, write it down, speak it out, believe and receive it and above all else praise Him throughout the process).

Rise up and believe God for something – focus, focus, focus.

“Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night.” Psalms 1:1-2

Meditate on it, look at it from every angle. Meditate on it and look at it from every angle and believe it for the glory of God!!!

It's time for me to have hope, to dare to dream, meditate on it, let it get down in my spirit, start to believe it for my life and to believe that with God ALL things are possible.