"Imagine if the Tea Party Was Black" - Tim Wise

*I read this post over at this blog thanks to my friend Tracey. All I could say was "Wow!"

Let’s play a game, shall we? The name of the game is called “Imagine.” The way it’s played is simple: we’ll envision recent happenings in the news, but then change them up a bit. Instead of envisioning white people as the main actors in the scenes we’ll conjure - the ones who are driving the action - we’ll envision black folks or other people of color instead. The object of the game is to imagine the public reaction to the events or incidents, if the main actors were of color, rather than white. Whoever gains the most insight into the workings of race in America, at the end of the game, wins.

So let’s begin.

Imagine that hundreds of black protesters were to descend upon Washington DC and Northern Virginia, just a few miles from the Capitol and White House, armed with AK-47s, assorted handguns, and ammunition. And imagine that some of these protesters —the black protesters — spoke of the need for political revolution, and possibly even armed conflict in the event that laws they didn’t like were enforced by the government? Would these protester — these black protesters with guns — be seen as brave defenders of the Second Amendment, or would they be viewed by most whites as a danger to the republic? What if they were Arab-Americans? Because, after all, that’s what happened recently when white gun enthusiasts descended upon the nation’s capital, arms in hand, and verbally announced their readiness to make war on the country’s political leaders if the need arose.

Imagine that white members of Congress, while walking to work, were surrounded by thousands of angry black people, one of whom proceeded to spit on one of those congressmen for not voting the way the black demonstrators desired. Would the protesters be seen as merely patriotic Americans voicing their opinions, or as an angry, potentially violent, and even insurrectionary mob? After all, this is what white Tea Party protesters did recently in Washington.

Imagine that a rap artist were to say, in reference to a white president: “He’s a piece of shit and I told him to suck on my machine gun.” Because that’s what rocker Ted Nugent said recently about President Obama.

Imagine that a prominent mainstream black political commentator had long employed an overt bigot as Executive Director of his organization, and that this bigot regularly participated in black separatist conferences, and once assaulted a white person while calling them by a racial slur. When that prominent black commentator and his sister — who also works for the organization — defended the bigot as a good guy who was misunderstood and “going through a tough time in his life” would anyone accept their excuse-making? Would that commentator still have a place on a mainstream network? Because that’s what happened in the real world, when Pat Buchanan employed as Executive Director of his group, America’s Cause, a blatant racist who did all these things, or at least their white equivalents: attending white separatist conferences and attacking a black woman while calling her the n-word.

Imagine that a black radio host were to suggest that the only way to get promoted in the administration of a white president is by “hating black people,” or that a prominent white person had only endorsed a white presidential candidate as an act of racial bonding, or blamed a white president for a fight on a school bus in which a black kid was jumped by two white kids, or said that he wouldn’t want to kill all conservatives, but rather, would like to leave just enough—“living fossils” as he called them—“so we will never forget what these people stood for.” After all, these are things that Rush Limbaugh has said, about Barack Obama’s administration, Colin Powell’s endorsement of Barack Obama, a fight on a school bus in Belleville, Illinois in which two black kids beat up a white kid, and about liberals, generally.

Imagine that a black pastor, formerly a member of the U.S. military, were to declare, as part of his opposition to a white president’s policies, that he was ready to “suit up, get my gun, go to Washington, and do what they trained me to do.” This is, after all, what Pastor Stan Craig said recently at a Tea Party rally in Greenville, South Carolina.

Imagine a black radio talk show host gleefully predicting a revolution by people of color if the government continues to be dominated by the rich white men who have been “destroying” the country, or if said radio personality were to call Christians or Jews non-humans, or say that when it came to conservatives, the best solution would be to “hang ‘em high.” And what would happen to any congressional representative who praised that commentator for “speaking common sense” and likened his hate talk to “American values?” After all, those are among the things said by radio host and best-selling author Michael Savage, predicting white revolution in the face of multiculturalism, or said by Savage about Muslims and liberals, respectively. And it was Congressman Culbertson, from Texas, who praised Savage in that way, despite his hateful rhetoric.

Imagine a black political commentator suggesting that the only thing the guy who flew his plane into the Austin, Texas IRS building did wrong was not blowing up Fox News instead. This is, after all, what Anne Coulter said about Tim McVeigh, when she noted that his only mistake was not blowing up the New York Times.

Imagine that a popular black liberal website posted comments about the daughter of a white president, calling her “typical redneck trash,” or a “whore” whose mother entertains her by “making monkey sounds.” After all that’s comparable to what conservatives posted about Malia Obama on freerepublic.com last year, when they referred to her as “ghetto trash.”

Imagine that black protesters at a large political rally were walking around with signs calling for the lynching of their congressional enemies. Because that’s what white conservatives did last year, in reference to Democratic party leaders in Congress.In other words, imagine that even one-third of the anger and vitriol currently being hurled at President Obama, by folks who are almost exclusively white, were being aimed, instead, at a white president, by people of color. How many whites viewing the anger, the hatred, the contempt for that white president would then wax eloquent about free speech, and the glories of democracy? And how many would be calling for further crackdowns on thuggish behavior, and investigations into the radical agendas of those same people of color?

To ask any of these questions is to answer them. Protest is only seen as fundamentally American when those who have long had the luxury of seeing themselves as prototypically American engage in it. When the dangerous and dark “other” does so, however, it isn’t viewed as normal or natural, let alone patriotic. Which is why Rush Limbaugh could say, this past week, that the Tea Parties are the first time since the Civil War that ordinary, common Americans stood up for their rights: a statement that erases the normalcy and “American-ness” of blacks in the civil rights struggle, not to mention women in the fight for suffrage and equality, working people in the fight for better working conditions, and LGBT folks as they struggle to be treated as full and equal human beings.

And this, my friends, is what white privilege is all about. The ability to threaten others, to engage in violent and incendiary rhetoric without consequence, to be viewed as patriotic and normal no matter what you do, and never to be feared and despised as people of color would be, if they tried to get away with half the shit we do, on a daily basis.

Game Over.


Tim Wise is among the most prominent anti-racist writers and activists in the U.S. Wise has spoken in 48 states, on over 400 college campuses, and to community groups around the nation. Wise has provided anti-racism training to teachers nationwide, and has trained physicians and medical industry professionals on how to combat racial inequities in health care. His latest book is called Between Barack and a Hard Place.

Comparison is the thief of joy

Comparison is the thief of joy, comparison is the thief of joy, comparison is the thief of joy. Come on, say it with me. Comparison is the thief of joy. Now ponder those six words. Let them resonate in your soul. What an epiphany. Really, it is. We don’t stop and wonder why we feel bad about our life and what is going on, only that we feel that way and wish that we didn’t. But what triggered the thought? What brought you to the place that made you feel like you were missing something?

When I read Tracey’s post it clicked, almost audibly, that I was a victim of comparison. As long as I went about my life living it to its fullest, I was fine but when I started comparing my circumstances to the people around me I noticed a change. I was unhappy, bitter, angry and even resentful sometime of what others had that I didn’t. It didn’t matter that I didn’t need it or even want it. The issue was that they had and I did not. It made me feel inferior and out of my league when in reality I’m right where I need to be. I mean seriously, how could I not be? How many people can say that they are doing what they enjoy doing and get paid a pretty decent salary to boot. I’m living my dream and although it isn’t what other people had for me it’s what I wanted. Maybe not 100% how I imagined it would be, but pretty dead on. Are there things I would change? Absolutely but not at the expense of losing what I have, who I am or walking outside of what God has for me vs. what I “think” I should have because someone else has it.

I’d love a bigger house with a bigger bedroom and a bathtub/shower combo in my bathroom, a mini cooper, new furniture, a tank full of heating oil, a pantry overflowing and money to spare but what would I have to sacrifice in order to have it? Working two jobs, 60+ hours a week, less time with my husband and kids, less time to volunteer at church or at the Y? No thanks. I’ll survive. We always have and in the end that’s what matters. I imagine that one day there will be a time when some of those things will come about a lot easier than they do now and I will cherish that time but in the meantime I won’t keep wishing for, snipping about and salivating over the new stuff that Mr. & Mrs. Jones got because I’m not sure I want to have to go through what they went through to get what they have. Besides, who’s to say that they are any happier than I am because they have all of that stuff?

In the long run, if I lost everything that I have but still had my husband and kids to love that’s all I’d need. We’d pick up the pieces and start all over again.

So I’m going to make a concerted effort to not let myself get caught up in the comparison game. I don’t want to lose the joy I do have about my life for the stuff that I don’t have.

How about you? Is your joy being stolen like a thief?

The Happiness Project - Remember Love

January goals: Go to bed earlier, start exercising again and organize my home office

This month's focus is on love and marriage. Rubin notes that, "working on my marriage was an obvious goal for my happiness project, because a good marriage is one of the factors most strongly associated with happiness...the atmosphere of my marriage set the weather for my whole life" (39). Scientific study, anecdotal evidence and my own personal observation certainly confirm that, arguably the most primary relationship in an adult's life, the marital relationship has a strong impact on happiness.

Today is about reflecting on where you are, and brainstorming where you want to be.

Minivan mom’s post set me to thinking and feeling a bit melancholy because her words pierced a place in me that I thought was healed, but I obviously still have issues with. My first marriage ended.in.divorce. While I agree that it is best to stay married, even in an unhappy marriage, for the sake of the children, I couldn’t. Not only was it unhappy but it was abusive on several fronts. I stuck with it for the sake of our kids – all 10 of them, for as long as I could but when it got to the point that it was just as detrimental for them as it was for me; and when I knew it was a choice between which one of us lived and which one of us died, then I knew it had to end. And in theory so did I. I fell to pieces literally. I was mentally void of any kind of rational thought, action or emotion. I functioned on auto-pilot, anti-depressants and Valium. I was Humpty Dumpty and during that awful time of my life I never thought I could/would be whole again.

The depth of my bitterness, resentment, hatred and anger could not be measured and the idea of another man entering my life was as likely as a snowball surviving a minute in hell. For two years, I worked hard at restoring my children and myself. I lost a few battles and won a few along the way trying to fight for what I thought was fair and just through our judicial system and at the hands of men found myself being victimized all over again because in the south the “good old boy” network is still alive and thriving. The healing process continued though through a group of friends that stuck closer to me than my family and continues to do so. My faith and trust in God saw me through the pit of hell and one day in my world of darkness and despair, the sun started to shine and I started to grow once again – grow confident in myself, my abilities as a woman/mother/friend and a contributing member of society. My job afforded me the opportunity to support my family and travel. Life was good and although I was alone, I was ok. More than ok. I was ecstatic because I had survived. I was tired but not weary, a little overwhelmed but not drowning. I wasn’t whole but I was no longer broken in a million little pieces. And when I least expected it my whole world got turned upside down again.

I met someone while traveling for work. I wasn’t looking, didn’t make the connection and gave little thought that this was more than a chance meeting. Little did I know that there was something much greater in the works. I met my soul mate. The person I was destined to be with. Not because he made my life wonderful and perfect because he didn’t and it’s not; but because he came into my life when I was so much less than I was when I met my first husband but he could see beyond the brokenness into what I could become and he loved me all the more because of it.

Tony’s acceptance of me, my circumstances and my baggage was more than I had ever hoped for. Trust me when I say he got the short end of the stick. I’ve never been one to deny who I am or how I am. In fact, as much as I tried not to be, I am my mother’s child. A strong, independent, I don’t need/want anybody because I can do it all by myself woman! I know what I want, how I want it and don’t think I’m going to let anyone tell me differently; especially after all that I had been through. In my first marriage I was that submissive, subservient wife. I threw away all that I was to become all that I thought he wanted on any given day to keep the peace, to make the yelling, screaming and belittling stop. Not anymore. On the inside I had become hard, determined and fiercely protective of what is mine. In spite of all of this he made his intentions known, dug his heels in and has been holding on every since.

He had one child, a son; I had 6 still at home 1 son and 5 daughters. He’s laid back, relaxed and easy going. I am type A all the way – uptight, regimented and nauseated at the idea of a vacation lasting more than 3 days (Fri, Sat & Sun). Relax was a dirty word totally foreign to me. I didn’t do much laughing, crying or having fun. I was in a groove that didn’t sway left or right but went straight down the line and it took an act of God to move me off of it but He did and I have. I zig, I zag, and I love life a whole lot more when I look at it from his perspective rather than my own. He wipes my tears, holds me in the night when the nightmares creep back in and he laughs with me and at me when I do stupid stuff for reasons unknown even to myself. He loves the salt and pepper hair – no “Nice n Easy” happening in this house and has fattened me up with his cooking and loving. Where there was once despair is now hope, where there was once ashes there are now flowers blooming – dreams on the horizon. I radiate from my head to my toes thanks to God and my husband.

These past two years have been good ones for me. I know that I could not appreciate all that Tony is if I hadn’t experienced the bad. He has taught me a lot about life, living, loving and trusting. I wouldn’t have learned the art of compromise and letting go of the small stuff or even how to laugh at myself and stop being so uptight if it weren’t for him. I can’t say that everything has changed for the better because in some ways they haven’t. We still have our struggles with the kids, finances, jobs, family – you know... life. But we’re in it together and we respect each other enough to walk away and give the other space when needed. That was essential for me because I had to learn to share my space with someone again, to trust my heart to someone again knowing full well that he could hurt me but be willing to step out on faith that even if he does that it isn’t the same and never will be. I’ve had to let go of the past hurts and prejudices and say ok, let’s give it a try and see where it leads. I’ve had to lower my expectations and free him from the incredibly high standards I had set in my mind so that he could be free to be himself and not who I would have molded him into. I had to take the lessons from the past and apply them to this relationship thus making it stronger and better than any I’ve ever had or hoped to have.

My husband challenges me to be a better person without even knowing it. The dreams he has for us stretches me in ways that want to send me running the other way but instead I move forward, taking it one day at a time, working my way through it until it feels right and I can embrace it totally. No pressure, no strings attached, no hidden agenda and no skeletons lurking in the shadows to pull me down. I am free to come into my own.

What keeps me awake at night is the feeling I have of the scales being unbalanced. For all he has given me I wonder what I give him other than a hard time. I lost so much of myself and don’t feel like I’ve gained it all back and therefore he’s missing out on those things. Like how I used to be so easy going, loving and forgiving. It was a seamless part of me and now it takes concerted effort to do all of those things. I have to choose to love, to relax, to forgive and some days to just live and not let the ghosts of the past pull me down into the darkness again.

His acceptance of me is so much more than mine of him. In my mind I replay things over and over and have to talk the walls down more often than not but he doesn’t complain, he just accepts. I throw myself out there giving and giving and often have little left to give at home but he accepts that as part of who I am and tries to protect me from myself. I’m not as understanding all the time. I can be selfish, self-centered and judgmental. He looks out for his family, always putting our needs first. He thinks the whole thing through and is willing to take a chance whereas I’d play it safe and close to my chest.

Nonetheless, it is working for us. I love him for who he is, how he is and just because he is. I love that he loves me, my children (our children) and has made our house a home. I love that he has seen me at my best and my worst and finds he is willing to accept them both. And even though he is younger than me, he is much wiser when it comes to certain things in the world that could present a clear and present danger to us.

What I hope for the future? More laughter, more love, more hope and joy. I’m slowly wrapping my brain around a trip to Disney, possibly a cruise and a vacation that is a week long. I’m looking forward to aging like fine wine with him; to watching the children grow up, welcoming grandchildren and reaching for all that is awaiting us and then some. At this point, there is a future and that is the greatest blessing of all.

The Happiness Project - Boost Energy, part I

The month of January is devoted to consciously working on boosting vitality and energy, because as Rubin writes, "research shows being happy energizes you, and at the same time, having more energy makes it easier for you to engage in activities - like socializing and exercise - that boost happiness. Studies also show that when you feel energetic, your self-esteem rises" (18).

For her project, Rubin decided to work on the following 5 steps to boost her energy:

1. Go to sleep earlier


2. Exercise better


3. Toss, restore, organize


4. Tackle a nagging task


5. Act more energetic

What concrete steps can I take to try to get more energy?

LOL, more energy? Most people accuse me of being the “Energizer Bunny” so I’m laughing at the idea of more energy although lately I don’t feel that is the case. My energy level is fine but how I channel my energy is the problem. Right now I’m basically flying by the seat of my pants with no set path. I’m in a new job literally feeling my way through each day much like a blind person who walks into an unfamiliar room. I am loving it but I’m not flowing in a set pattern or with what I feel is order and organization. If you didn’t realize by the title of my blog, I thrive on organization even if it’s just in my own mind and 99% of the time that’s how it is. So the feeling of being out of sorts adds stress which is said to drain you of energy which I guess can lead to a diminished feeling of happiness. And I said all of that why? I guess because I’m in denial of needing more energy or redirecting myself so that my energy flows better.

Will you work on one of Rubin’s 5 steps, or create new ones of your own?

I decided why bother to recreate the wheel and take up Linda’s steps and I’m happy to report that this week I have failed at them all but #5. If I can’t do anything else, I can fake the funk, I mean the energetic feeling.

#1 - This is not a week to try to go to sleep earlier as I have meetings planned for every evening this week and if I can hit the pillow before 11:00 on any given night I’ll be doing good.

#2 - I did sign up for gym privileges at work if that counts for #2 but I can’t start using the gym until next week. I also signed up for our annual 10k marathon in the city on March 27 so I definitely have a hard goal set to prepare for. I can do a 5k in 45 minutes but haven’t tried a 10k so it is my desire to complete it in 2 hours or less for my first time out. I have a harder goal out there for myself but I refuse to let anyone else know just how sadistic I can be when it comes to pushing myself.

#3 – Toss, restore, organize – I am “Queen B” at doing that; especially at work. At my new job I have tossed, tossed and tossed to the point that I fear that if I don’t stop I might find myself with empty file drawers. I’ve restored my area to look like I’ve been there for two years instead of 2 weeks and my files are so organized that even my bosses could find what they needed if they were so inclined. I have a bit more work to do when it comes to my personal space though. I have a deep seeded need to torture myself with things of the past and so I have a hard time of letting go of things even if its for my own good.

#4 – Tackle a nagging task – Right now the most nagging task is to organize my home/home office. My husband has been taking care of the home piece so I’ve kinda relinquished that nag off to his “honey do” list. See the latter part of #3 and then keep reading. In order to effectively accomplish this task I need time, I need heat (right now it’s stays about 10 degrees warmer than the outside temperature because it is all glass) and I need peace, quiet and undisturbed time. Living with 7 other people makes this virtually impossible. And did I mention it was glass, which makes me a target for everyone who passes by to stop, knock and interrupt my groove. Oh yeah, there needs to be a desire to eliminate the nag as well, and right now I just don’t have it. I’d rather, read, watch TV, take a nap, or help the kids with homework. I am a deadline driven fool and I’ve yet to give myself a deadline so although it nags me that it isn’t done, I’m not motivated by my perfectionistic desire to accomplish the task because there isn’t an end date. You think maybe I should set one…

#5 – Act more energetic – I’ve smiled, cheered, worked, laughed, ran, fought and bounced my way through life. I couldn’t act any more energized if I tried. It’s a part I was born to play. My ADD/ADHD, competitive, people pleasing, perfectionistic tendencies only seem to increase this 10 fold as I am not going to be outdone or come up short. Some days I feel like I’m going to go down in flames in an effort to do it all but alas I succeed and start all over again smile in tack, princess wave down pat and all my little ducks in a row.

OK, assessment done and I’m left feeling deflated. OMGosh, where is the happiness in this?

The Happiness Project

More Than a Minivan Mom and I go back over ten years; long before she was "famous" in the blog world. I love her dearly not just what she writes but how honest she is to herself, her friends and family. She puts it all out there - thoughts, feelings, rants, commentary - some good and some bad, politically correct or not. I envy how she says what she means and means what she says. I certainly don't agree with what she says all the time but I love to read what is on her mind. I respect her opinions and always give pause to consider things from her side before discounting it with my own.

I am her sideline cheerleader and stand amazed at all she has accomplished and is still doing. She is one of the few great teachers who still care about the kids and getting the most out of them. I wish she were here teaching and not Dallas because I know my kids would learn a lot from her. So, suffice it to say that when she announced that she was doing the Happiness Project and I decided to have a wack at it as well. I'm hoping I'll find out more things to appreciate about my life than I already do.

10 things I like about where I live...

10. Location, location, location - I have it made living in Richmond. I am two hours from the mountains, two hours from the ocean and two hours from DC. We are the halfway point between New England and Florida and with that we get to have all four seasons.

9. History - Virginia is packed with history. As is typical of people who live in such places, I don't appreciate the heritage and history as much as I should. I haven't visited all the battlegrounds or historical wonders but it is a bit thrilling living in the Capital of the Confederate.

8. Food - We have some great restaurants in Richmond and the surrounding area. I grew up on the southern cuisine and enjoy it every chance I get although I prefer to cook it myself. A few of my favorite restaurants are Croaker Spot, Poe's Pub, The Tobacco Company, The Jefferson Hotel, and The Halfway House.

7. Schools - We live where we do for the school system. It is one of the best in the state. Although I'm not happy with how most educational systems have gone to a system of standardized testing/teaching our kids do still have options for their education. Virginia is also home to some great schools of higher education. Virginia Tech, JMU, William & Mary, VCU, UVA, VUU, VSU, etc.

6. Quality of life - We are not the metropolis of Dallas, don't have the NY thing going on and thankfully not as congested as Atlanta. Here in Richmond we have a pace that suits us. We enjoy a slow, easy summer and a fall full of tradition - football, tailgating, turning of the leaves, bonfires and apple cider. I live in the suburbs and work in the city. My mom lives on a farm and the kids get to run and have fun although not as often or quite the same way as I did but they get a taste of it.

5. Shopping - Outlets, outlets, outlets and now we have Saks, Nordstrom, etc. If I loved shopping, which I don't, unless I have the money, I'd have plenty to choose from no matter what direction I headed in. Unfortunately for my friends and family shopping for me consists largely of Walmart. My home away from home! Gap, Old Navy and JC Penney have become regulars in my wardrobe as well.

4. Opportunity - We are up and coming. Several major companies have relocated their headquarters here although others have departed but I think that we have a bright future and more opportunity to come.

3. Sports & Recreation - We have hockey (maybe), baseball is back (yahoo!), football - arena & the Redskins (boo), basketball (college), soccer and Nascar racing!!! - love that sound of the engines starting and the feeling of sitting in the stands and being a part of the action. Not to mention horse racing, theme parks (Kings Dominion, Busch Gardens), skiing, horseback riding, parks, etc.

2. Culture - There is much culture in Virginia if you can get past the confederate flag, which I have no ill will towards. We have the people of the eastern shore, the farmers, the mountaineers and the gentile southerners who love every one as long as they mind their manners. We have Monument Avenue with our confederate icons but Arthur Ashe crashed that party a few years ago, Shockoe Bottom, Oregon Hill, Jackson Ward and Charlottesville (home of Thomas Jefferson's Monticello).

1. Family & friends - this is home. I was born in New York but my formative years were spent here. The majority of my family lives here and although I've left, the longing for home drew me back. I couldn't imagine not being close enough to them that I couldn't make it in a couple of hours but far enough away that they aren't crowding my life. There isn't anywhere that one can go in this state where you won't run into an old friend of a friend if you were born and/or raised here.