Prom 2011

The dress, the shoes, the jewelry, the hair, the nails and where to eat. Who will drive, how late can we stay out and do you really have to know all the details. Cough, cough, a cloud of hair spray fills the bathroom, the smell of fingernail polish remover permeates the air and she wonders why she needs her inhaler. Safety pins, lotion, perfume, pocketbook, keys and don't forget the tickets and some money and out the door they go. My daughter and her BFF. Off to the prom. Her first and a sentimental milestone for me.

She had a great time. Lots of fun and memories to be shared for years to come and we get to do this all over again next year. Happy, happy, joy, joy, one of the things I so love about parenthood... the opportunity to re-live your life again vicariously through your kids.

Mother's Day 2011

Happy Mother's Day shouts awakened me on Sunday as my three little ones plopped a tray on my lap with my Mother's Day breakfast. A bowl of raisin bran soggy and delicious, burnt toast with jelly - yum, yum, an orange and a glass of water. Who could ask for more? Hand made cards soon followed along with left over chocolate Easter bunnies as a "dessert" of sorts should I be so inclined. No thank you very much you may keep that for your afternoon snack.

What a great way to start the day and how wonderfully blessed am I that they took the initiative on their own to do this for me.

I am the recipient of unconditional love today and everyday from these little ones He has entrusted in my care. I am not worthy but I am basking in every moment that I have both good and bad.

In reality every day is Mother's Day for as long as you live once you have been blessed with a child in your life but it sure is nice when they take the time to say thanks and show a little appreciation for what I truly believe is one of the hardest jobs in life!

How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?

This song has been sung by many people over the years but in my opinion Al Green's version was the best. These words sum up how I'm feeling today as I navigate through a very difficult situation in the life of someone I care for very deeply.

I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.

I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, no one said a word about the sorrow.

And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.


I am a fixer of broken things or at least that's what I try to be. I feel like that's what I do best - fix things, people, situations. It stems from being broken myself, being told that it (me & my life) was too broken to be fixed and not being able to fix myself.

My husband says I try to save the world but I don't think I'm that bad. I know I have limitations although I admit I don't always realize that I've stretched myself beyond them sometimes.

As a mom, I have spent so many days, weeks and years fixing my kids - bumps, bruises and scrapes; their stuff - broken bikes, trucks, trains and video games; and the messes - forgotten schoolwork, dented fenders, fights with friends. As they grew up, left home and ventured into the big bad world I've rushed to their side and helped put them and their lives back together again one piece at a time, one step at a time, one prayer at a time and for the most part it has been a successful partnership. But now they are at the age and point in their lives where they don't always want my help and when they do it's only for certain things but not others.

Lately, I keep finding myself in situations where as much as I would like to I can't fix the situation, the person or the things; they are greater than anything I, a mere human being with so many faults of my own, can do anything about. Nothing tears me up inside more than to see my children hurting and suffering because of choices that they have made and continue to make that create messes in their lives of monumental proportions that could have been avoided if only they had listened or allowed us to help. It is because of this my heart is broken. I feel stuck, useless and unable to move on; like the weight of the world is on my shoulders and its beating me down.

It's even more exasperating because I know that God can fix it, but without the permission of the parties involved he can't and he won't.

I know that at some point in our lives as parents we are to let our children go and let God but what mother can truly let go of her child. It is inherent in us to nurture, to love, to support and in my case to fix. But until they decide that they want my help to fix it or God finally figures out a way to help me accept that I can't always fix it, I have to step back and pray. Pray for safety, pray for guidance, pray for deliverance and pray for peace and healing of my heart that is broken as I watch my children teeter and totter on the brink of destruction as they gravitate toward the enticing yet harmful things this world is offering them.

Oh how I long for the days when they were two and three and I could grab them before they fell, steady them and set them back on the straight and narrow path out of harms way and into my outstretched arms waiting to love them and keep them safe.

It makes me ponder the depth of heartbreak our Father in heaven must feel as he sits high and looks low over us, watching as we boldly and brashly step out there making wrong choices and decisions daily breaking his heart and rejecting his offers to fix it.

Every day is...

In less than 48 hours millions of women all over the world will be receiving breakfast in bed, flowers, home-made cards, bathrobes, body wash, jewelry and an assortment of brunches, dinners, desserts, etc. in celebration of Mother’s Day.

I appreciate the fact that we take time out each year to celebrate mom’s, dad’s and now even grandparents but feel conflicting emotions about why we do it.

In my book it ranks up there with Valentine’s Day. A day I don’t see any real value to. I don’t really get into it because I don’t feel that we should be told to show our love on any given day, in any particular way. Love is not something that can be brought by giving someone a box of chocolates or a dozen roses no more than you can say thanks to your mom, dad or grandparents with a card, a bouquet of flowers or a nice dinner somewhere.

If you have children then you know that every day is Mother’s, Father’s or Grandparent’s day. Parenthood is one of the greatest gifts God could bestow upon us, after the gift of mercy and grace brought to us through his son, Jesus Christ, who died for our sins.

Not everyone will have the opportunity to be a parent and nor does everyone desire that blessing. But when it happens to you and you embrace it for what it is, the blessings you receive from it outweigh any gift anyone could possibly give you as way of thanks.

I have never felt that a thank you was ever needed for the gift of my children. In fact, I feel that I am the one who should be thanking God for these blessings that He has allowed me to have in my life for however long He chooses to share them with me. They are not mine forever but merely on loan. It is an awesome responsibility; one that I take very seriously. It is my job to instill in them a solid foundation of God and his truth so that they can carry out the plan He has designed for each of their lives.

We were taught in the Bible to “honor our parents” as one of the original Ten Commandments. This is not a one time thing but a continuous act throughout our lives. It is what we do when we take what they have instilled in us and use it for the greater good. It is what we do when we sift the good from the bad and focus on the good. It is the inheritance we leave to our children. They will mirror our patterns. How we treat our parents will show them how to treat us when we get older. The love, respect and reverence we place upon our parents will flow down to our children and when we are gone they will know what to do not just from our words but most especially from our actions.


Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.”

Deuteronomy 4:9-10 Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them. Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God at Horeb, when he said to me, “Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children.”

Deuteronomy 6:6-9 These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 11:18-19 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

We are also taught in the Word how to raise our children. Parenting is not an easy job.

2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

You will make mistakes; you will have trials and tribulation. Some will bring deep, gut wrenching heartbreak and others joy so overwhelming you won’t know how to contain it. There are no manuals, road maps or detailed instructions that will make your job any easier than what you will find in the Bible. The principles laid out in there will get you through the toughest of times and help you enjoy the good times even more.

Proverbs 13:24 He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 19:18 Discipline your son, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to his death.

Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Ephesians 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Colossians 3:21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.

God holds children in the highest esteem and so should we. Yes, there are times when you would rather deny the existence of your children, long for your single days or declare war on the world should someone call you “mommy” for the gazillionth time but those moments are fleeting as is the time that we have with our children. I have learned much from them. They keep me humble. I have learned how to love unconditionally, to put off the selfish part of me in sacrifice for their needs, wants and desires. I have become stronger yet weaker and evolved into a totally different person as a result of having these children in my life. They are not burdens; they are not the reason for our failures. They should not carry our shame, bear the brunt of our anger or frustration. They are innocent in His eyes. They did not ask to be here and surely if they bring such joy to God they can bring some joy to you.

I understand that not all children are alike. Some have issues physically, mentally and psychologically that require a great deal of patience and restraint but with God, friends and family we can still have times of great delight with these children. They are blessings from God. Wonderful, marvelous blessings that can carry on our legacy for generations to come when we do what is required of us. Love them unconditionally, without malice, without prejudice, without restraint. Treating each one as the individual that he/she is. No preconceived notions just accepting them for who they are. Take time to listen to them, to "hear" them, to understand their needs. Each one is different but each one is special.

Psalms 144:12 Then our sons in their youth will be like well-nurtured plants, and our daughters will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace.

Proverbs 14:26 He who fears the Lord has a secure fortress, and for his children it will be a refuge.

3 John 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

Luke 18:15-17 People were bringing even infants to him that he might touch them; and when the disciples saw it, they sternly ordered them not to do it. But Jesus called for them and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not stop them; for it is to such as these that the kingdom of God belongs. Truly I tell you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will never enter it."

Matthew 18:1-5 At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, " Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?" He called a child, whom he put among the, and said, "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever becomes humble like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me."

So while my kids, my gifts from God, spend the next 48 hours attempting to shower me with love, gifts and platitudes of thanks I will be giving God thanks, praise and honor for allowing me to enjoy them for such a time as this. Knowing that thanks from them is not necessary but hearing the words from His mouth on my day of judgement, "well done, thy good and faithful servant" will be all the thanks I could ever hope for.

Recap of CHRISTmas 2009

Twas the day after CHRISTmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even ME! I got up a little late, had my quiet time with the Lord and crept back to bed. At 7:30 the first little pitter patter could be heard. They got up and played and we dozed back to sleep. At 9:00 I awoke from a nice morning nap and quiet time with my husband and fed the gang. It was a great way to start the day after such a fun packed CHRISTmas day.

I pray that you all had a very Merry CHRISTmas! Our morning was great. We had blueberry and triple berry muffins, bacon, juice and milk. We listened to Christmas music of all sorts and they got the biggest kick out of the Jackson 5 singing "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus". We brushed our teeth and settled down to read the CHRISTmas story in Luke 2 and talk about the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL - JESUS CHRIST! We shared our thoughts and feelings about this season and the reason we celebrate it and then the mayhem began.

They opened their stockings from us and big brother and then we moved to the living room where the tree and their other gifts awaited them and dug in. Paper was flying everywhere, there were squeals of delight, groans at the gag gifts and lots of love and joy flowing around the room as CHRISTmas carols played in the background. All too soon the gifts were all unwrapped and the mood was somber. Is this all???

My heart stopped for a moment at those words and I gathered them around to pick up the wrapping paper, etc. and talked to them once again about it not being about presents and gifts but about Jesus Christ. They nodded and wandered off to start opening everything and the day ensued with a lot of - Can I open this? Can you help me open that? as I cooked our CHRISTmas dinner. The aroma of the ham, yams and turkey cooking filled the air and lots of thoughts filled my mind.

I decided that we have had enough of the commercialism of CHRISTmas in our lives and that next year will be much different. I know they are relatively young but this is the best time to start. We have already reached the point where they don't believe in Santa Claus as a real live person, rather he is a symbol of the "spirit of giving". So I've decided to take some very wise advise and limit the number of gifts we give our children to three apiece much like the offering of the three wise men. Don't applaud me for this great undertaking because it is not an original thought, it came from Sheila Wray Gregoire, Canadian columnist, author, speaker, and mom.

"... several years ago we started a new gift giving tradition with my children. We call it the “Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh” ritual, where they each get three gifts, and nothing more. The gold gift is something they want. The frankincense gift is something they need, like socks. And the myrrh gift is something to nurture their souls. It could be a journal, or a book, or a CD, or a movie. It’s something that reminds them of their purpose here on earth, or encourages them to think, to write, and to pray about what’s important."

This way I know that all the joy, fun and celebrating will focus mainly around CHRIST and not the gifts. It will also add joy back into our lives as we won't feel the pressure to buy, buy and buy gifts that will lose their luster within 48 hours of opening them and the headache of paying for them into the new year. Although we did the Angel tree this year and sponsored a boy and a girl I didn't let them in on the process but next year we will let them pick out the gifts for the children we choose to sponsor so they can start to feel the joy that comes from buying for others - giving not just receiving.

How was your CHRISTmas?

Happy Thanksgiving

This has been a year full of many things to be thankful for. My increased faith and relationship with God and my husband coming into the family being the best of these for me personally. The least of these how things went today. I overslept, the oven caught fire, the vacuum cleaner broke, the turkey was a little dry and now the refrigerator has decided to go on the fritz. However, in spite of all the attempts by the enemy to take away from our joy this day it has given us a reason to give even more thanks!

First, we thank Him for life. We awoke this morning to sunshine, birds singing and warmer weather. We all have our health and strength and despite whatever differences we experience with each other during the day we love one another.

Secondly, we have the basic necessities in life that so many people take for granted; a home, food, clothes, transportation and jobs.

Thirdly, we are blessed beyond measure and we know that. We are surrounded by our friends and family and at the end of the day that is one of the most important things of all besides the knowledge of Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior and the love of God.

The extra sleep was welcomed and very much needed. The fire in the oven was a distraction that set me back by a 1/2 hour but no harm was done and I believe these were the best sweet potatoes I've ever made! The vacuum cleaner has served us well and with a house full of kids there are plenty of things it could pick up on any given day that could have caused it to fizzle out. This was my first "small" turkey -12 pounds and it didn't have the pop up letting me know when it was done so I had to go with my instincts... enough said (I don't do much in the "small" arena so I was a little out of my league) and well the refrigerator is 8+ years old and has held up well under 10 kids so I can't complain. The timing sucks but we have a back-up in the basement as we have to have 2 refrigerators and a freezer to keep up with the food needs of the family.

So at the end of the day it is all good. We are full, happy and counting our blessings even as we prepare to hunker down for the evening. The kids are asleep, the house is quiet and we have had a great day.

Thank you Lord.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

The Twilight Saga from a mother's perspective

Lysa TerKeurst started this discussion on her blog this morning and I have to pick it up and run with it because it mirrors my own life all too well.

I read the Twilight series and enjoyed it for what it was fantasy; but I am a 45 year old woman who has fought plenty of her own demons before coming to the point that Lysa makes so poignantly in her post. I know who loves me unconditionally. I know to seek Him for all of my needs and the deepest desires of my heart but it hasn't always been that way.

Back in the day as I grew up during the 60's we had fairy tales, in the 70's we had Harlequin Romances, in the 80's and 90's it was Sidney Sheldon and Danielle Steele and then came Lifetime TV. Boy meets girl, sweeps girl off her feet and they live happily ever after was branded on my brain and into my heart. Passion and romance abound and it seemed as if it was around every corner except the ones that I turned.

As a child I struggled with issues of being loved and finding love so I became an easy target reading these things. I was caught hook, line and sinker and spent the better part of my life trying to find that perfect relationship that does not exist in the world.

No one told me that there would be hurts and disappointments, abuse, degradation, abandonment and rape. I had no idea that "love" was not a reciprocated feeling; that it was actually predicated on what the other person could get from you and once you became useless to them or unable to fulfill them easily discarded and replaced with the newest model, hair color or body shape that TV exploited.  I didn't know that it took hard work, prayer and submission to God's will for us and not our own. I thought that if I loved them, they would love me. I thought that surely someone would come along one day, see me and fall head over heels in love with me and everything would be alright. Little did I know just how far from the truth that was, yet I continued to read my romance novels, watch the chick flicks and dream/hope/pray for the day that my knight in shining armor would arrive.

He never did in the worldly sense but the day I surrendered my life to Christ (totally, not riding the fence) all my dreams came true. He has been my lifeline, my truth, my joy and my strength. Through everything that has transpired since I gave him my life he has been there for me. He has never left me nor forsaken me. I wasn't traded in, up or out for someone new and have never felt the sting of his hand on my body, nor flinched at His Words because they have always been delivered in love and tenderness. He has held me in my darkest hours and carried me from the brink of death many times seen and unseen. He is why I get up in the morning and carry on day after day in spite of what the world throws at me at any given time and if I am ever asked I confess that I love him and desire for my life to be a reflection of His goodness and mercy bestowed upon me.

Flash forward to 2009 and this phenomenon. I have a sixteen year old daughter who wanted to read the series and having read it first allowed her to so that she wouldn't be tempted to go behind my back. She hasn't finished the whole series but she's dying to see New Moon although she hasn't seen the first movie. I've said no because I personally don't want to see the movie but also because of all the hype and drama behind it. It has become something bigger than Harry Potter, High School Musical or any other teen drama in the past few years and I don't want her caught up in it.

We have discussed the realities of relationships and how this saga is "way over the top" and pretty unhealthy in it's portrayal of love and I feel that she understands this and feel blessed that she is not caught up in it like so many other girls but at the same time, if she were lost like I was I could see her making some of the same unhealthy and unwise choices in her life that I made in mine.  The difference for her is ME. I am a mother that loves the Lord. I love his Word and stand on it for truth, direction and guidance in raising my children. I take the responsibility He has bestowed upon me very seriously and when I stand before him to give an account on how I raised my children I want him to be pleased with my choices. Not that they were always the right choices because I am in no way perfect but because based on who I am and where I am in my walk with Him they were the best ones I could have made at that time.

My mother didn't talk to me, didn't guide and direct my path and therefore I was allowed to forge ahead into the wilderness without any guidance whatsoever. I promised myself to do better by my children and just like Lysa and all the other women that left comments on her blog know of someone much greater than a mere man that can provide all that my child needs by way of love and relationships, my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! It is in Him that I want her to seek, find, embrace and share all the desires of her heart and allow him to lead her to whom He has chosen for her when the time is right.

But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Matthew 6:33 (NKJV)