2010 is coming to a close and as I review the year I can honestly say it has been a bittersweet year. I lost a few people this year that caused me to stop in my tracks and take a time out to handle the weight of it all. I gained some people that have been a true blessing to my life and I've shed a few toxic people that were constantly dragging me down no matter what I did.
Overall it was a year filled with many life lessons, blessings, and promises of better things to come. I had a sabbatical that allowed me to work through some issues, reconcile myself to certain things that will always be my "thorn" as Paul so eloquently called his trial and purge my past from having control of my present and my future. My counseling is continuing to progress. I am doing well and things at home are going ok. My emotions aren’t running high and low like before. They are now on a even keel fluctuating ever so slightly depending on the events of the day but not out of control. I’ve pretty much stayed at a level place but am still struggling to find time in my busyness to write and release.
This was the first holiday season in several years that I haven’t stressed obsessively over money, the kids, and my family. I just accepted my limitations to do what I wanted for everyone and did what I could. In the end this turned into one of the best holidays we had because of it. It felt good to not have this great expectation hanging over my head but to look at things realistically and acknowledge that certain things weren’t going to happen. We enjoyed each other’s company, celebrating the birth of Christ and focusing in on giving not receiving. The kids were great and have enjoyed their time off from school but they are ready to go back now. I’m excited for the New Year and all the possibilities it holds. No resolutions this year but goals and dreams that are realistic and achievable. I didn’t go overboard and I’m not striving for perfection just forward progress.
I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year!
I live hard. 
