Together

" I advocate that every woman be a part of a circle that meets at least once a month or, if you can’t do that, once every two months or every four months. But you have to have a circle, a group of people – smart, wise, can-do women – who are in the world doing their work, and you need to meet with them as often as you can so that they can see what you’re doing and who you are, and you can see the same. And you can talk to each other about the world and about your lives in a circle of trust and safety. It’s crucial. It is crucial for our psychological health and our spiritual growth. It’s essential." Alice Walker

"If we’re by ourselves we come to feel crazy and alone. We need to make alternate families of small groups of women who support each other, talk to each other regularly, can speak their truths and their experiences and find they’re not alone in them, that other women have them too…It makes such a huge difference." Gloria Steinem

The idea of a group of women coming together to share is so foreign to me. So scary and unthinkable but over the past few months it is something I have been hungering for. It is a need I have that has to be fulfilled. It’s only taken me forty-seven years to realize that this life was meant to be shared with other women and to embrace that knowledge.

In all honesty I intentionally stayed away from women because I have been hurt through the years by friends and instead of forging ahead embracing the situation for what it was and learning from it I slowly built up a wall keeping everyone out. Living this life alone for the most part, walking out this journey all alone. Now as I look around I find that those walls that I built to protect me have actually isolated me and left me by myself.

I am so hungry for that connection again and am struggling to find it. I have found that I am not alone in my situation. There are so many of us that have been hurt, been too busy, too isolated and too afraid to venture forth and say I need or would like to have a circle of friends that I can share life’s experiences with. But as Alice and Gloria stated it is crucial and makes such a huge difference in our lives.

Sharing is what our ancestors did. It is how they got through some of their toughest times and yet here we stand going it alone. Trying to do it all on our own and failing miserably because we have to learn lessons that others have experience and knowledge of that could make a difference in our lives if only we took time to sit down and have a conversation.

When is the last time you had a gathering with your girlfriends?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)

Uncomfortable

Uncomfortable is defined as causing or feeling unease or awkwardness.

When I talk about my truth do I make you feel uncomfortable? When I put it out there for the whole world to see does that make you uncomfortable? If I were talking to you one on one about these things would you be uncomfortable that I chose you to reveal my emotions to?

Uncomfortable has been resonating in my brain for the past couple of days since I decided to just put myself out there once again and so I have to ask is it me or is it you that is experiencing this feeling?

I was having a conversation the other day with a friend and every time I mentioned something about myself the other party changed the subject. The first time it happened I thought it was just a coincidence so I deliberately did it again a couple more times and got the same result and that led me to know that she was uncomfortable with me sharing personal details of my life with her. I couldn’t figure out why since it wasn’t anything of great importance. Very basic information and certainly not scandalous by any stretch of the imagination and so it got me wondering...

If it was happening to me in such an innocent situation how many other women have experienced something similar and how has it affected them and their ability to share their world with others due to the fact that others appear uncomfortable with their sharing?

Why do you feel uncomfortable? Is it because you can empathize with my feelings or is it because you’re so caught up in your life that you don’t want to be distracted by what might be going on in someone else’s? Suppose it’s a combination of the two – you can relate but you’re also too busy to be in a position to offer assistance or support. Let’s really step out there and say you feel uncomfortable because you simply don’t care to hear about my issues – then what?

It is not my intention to make anyone feel uncomfortable whatever the reason and so if I do I apologize that it makes you feel that way but I can’t take it back. In fact, it will probably get deeper from here.

For whatever reason I feel compelled to share, to question and to probe the issues that have brought me to this point and this venue is where I’m being led to do it. I’m hoping that in my struggle you will find comfort, peace, understanding and perhaps healing of your own. I am hoping to educate and share what I have learned and am continuing to learn.

I’m hoping to create deeper more intimate relationships with those of you that come along on the journey and that you too will feel compelled to contribute to the process. It’s not all about me. God is at work here. I know that with all my heart because He released me from being bound up all these months unable to write. There has to be a purpose to that for He is very intentional in everything that He does.

So be prepared to step out of your comfort zone just as I am prepared to reveal my weaknesses and shortcomings to you. Together let us find comfort in one another and move forward stronger, bolder, healthier and happier than we’ve ever been be it by reading, commenting or silently taking it all in and then having a dialogue with Him about whatever is on your mind.

I pray this uncomfortableness will be a blessing to you.